Almost every sapphic under the sun has tried fingering, in fact, it probably plays a big role in your sex life, but if thats not enough for you, whats the next step?If youve already dipped your toes into oral, tribbing, and outercourse and want to experiment with something new, then it might be time to try fisting.Dont get us wrong, fisting is not the place to start if you are a baby gay who is brand new to sex. But for those of us with a little experience under our belt who want to up the kink factor in our sex life, then fisting may be the way to go. Fisting might seem overwhelming for those who have never partaken, but it can be an incredibly erotic and intense experience if done correctly and entirely safe too. This can be an intense and intimate way to connect with yourself and a partner, Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies, tells PRIDE. Fisting is great for folks who like the feeling of deep pressure and stretch.If youre curious but have never tried fisting before, then our LGBTQ+ sex experts have you covered. The first thing to remember is that when people hear the term fisting, they often picture shoving a closed fist into someones vaginal or anal canal, but youre going to want to use a lot more finesse than that, according to Dr. Shanna Katz Kattari, a sex educator and author of Pick-Your-Passion Approach for Hotter, Naughtier, More Adventurous Sex.To begin, when people are envisioning fisting, they frequently picture a large and aggressive closed fist, just like one ready to throw a punch, she says. Now, even though that may be some people's cup of tea, it would take quite a bit of time and prep to work up to that it is definitely not how we get going for our first fisting adventure. So then what is the best way to fist your partner for the first time? Our experts have tips and tricks that will turn any beginner sapphic into a fisting master in no time!1. Communicate with your partnerOpen communication is one of the key building blocks for having great sex, and since fisting isnt something that most people have tried, and can be an intense emotional and physical experience, youre going to want to go the extra mile and talk it all out beforehand. You should have a conversation around boundaries and expectations for the scene, Korpak says. Having the conversation before the scene starts prevents misunderstandings.2. Use lots of lubeFor fisting, you are going to want to use way more lube than you think you need. Squirted some out and think youre good? Nope, add more! You want everything to be slick so that you can glide your hand in without friction. I know people may laugh, but this is real talk, Dr. Kattari says. Some people's bodies may produce natural lubrication in their vagina/front hole/bonus whole, but that can be disrupted by all sorts of things (SSRIs, HRT, perimenopause, birth control, allergy meds), and even with a lot of natural lube, you are definitely going to want more for fisting. And the anus? It doesn't naturally lubricate. NOT EVER. You HAVE to use lube. She recommends thick lube that wont dry out like X-Lube, Sliquid, or Uberlube.3.Start with one finger and build upYour fingering experience is going to come in clutch here. Before graduating to putting all four fingers and your thumb into someones vagina or anal canal, youre going to need to start by inserting a single finger and then add more as your partner gets comfortable. Go slow and take it one finger at a time, Korpak suggests, and if you are the fistee, not the fister, then consider trying it with someone with small and collapsible hands, first.4.Get the hand shape correctOnce youve worked your way up to inserting four fingers without pain, youre going to want to create a duck bill shape with your hand, not an actual fist. Every receptive hole is unique, and sometimes something that works brilliantly on one body won't work as well (or at all!) on someone else, Dr. Kattari says. You might need to try different directions, different angles, and so on. Think of it like a puzzle, and your goal is to find the perfect fit. If you get all the way inside, then indeed, you can curl that duck bill of yours into a traditional fist. Duck bill or full fist, now you can SLOWLY move it around -- consider knocking motions, rolling your knuckles, moving in and out at the sped of a turtle. Ask your partner what feels good, and do more of that.5.Make slow movementsThe key to fisting for a beginner is to go slow and not make sudden or large movements to start out. Remember that any movement you make with your hand is going to be felt more intensely by the person you are fisting. A small movement of your hand translates to big feelings for the bottom, Korpak says. A slight move of your wrist will feel like a very big movement for the bottom. Go slow and take your time.6.Have good hygieneThis should be a no-brainer, but if you want to avoid giving your partner an infection or scraping their insides, then making sure you hands are clean and well-groomed is a must. Make sure things being inserted are clean, Korpak recommends. You want to make sure your fingernails are trimmed and filed down to prevent any rough areas that could cause pain for the bottom. If you are worried about your nails, you can wear gloves. This can be the perfect time to go get a manicure too!7.There shouldnt be painNo pain, no gain might be a common refrain in sports, but it has no place in sex, especially with fisting. If you or your partner is feeling pain, its time to back down to fewer fingers or take a break altogether. Yes, the fistee will feel lots of pressure, might (likely) feel they are being stretched, or even a little discomfort, Dr. Kattari says. "If and when that happens, slow down, take a break, add some more lube, and consider going back down a finger or two for a bit before working your way up again. They are the one who knows what it feels like, so let them guide the process for you. It's their body.8.Focus on the journey not the destinationIf you are too focused on getting your fist into someone, youre likely not going slowly enough or listening to their cues. Regardless of whether or not you ever manage to get your whole hand in, trying and experimenting can be fun all on their own. It might not work the first time, or second time, or even ever, but that doesn't mean trying isn't incredibly enjoyable, Dr. Kattari says. Be less about the goal of being fully inside someone and more about the process and how good it feels.9.Take your time pulling outWhen the fun is over and its time to remove your hand, go slowly and be careful. When you're done and coming out, definitely use a finger from your other hand to break the seal of suction that can occur, Dr. Kattari explains. Take your time in pulling out again, here it is better to go too slow and be asked to speed up than go too fast and accidentally cause pain. Whatever you've been fisting is going to be super sensitive and maybe sore, so try to avoid sudden movements.Sources cited: Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies.Dr. Shanna Katz Kattari, a sex educator and author of Pick-Your-Passion Approach for Hotter, Naughtier, More Adventurous Sex.