DANBURY, CTExpressing immense satisfaction with the recently purchased devices performance, area dad Frank Hoyer confirmed Friday that he was impressed by how easily a new lawn mower tore through his son Alans leg. Look at this thing godidnt even hiccup gliding through all that tibia! Hoyer said as he wiped a streak of blood from his brow, adding that he reckoned the machine could have handled a leg twice as large as his sons without any difficulty. Boy, you can really feel that extra horsepower at work. All that bone and sinew would have been way too much for our old mower to handle. I doubt it could have made it past your ankle. But this beaut handled that big, bony kneecap no problem, nice and smooth. And that high-capacity bag could probably hold a couple dozen more legs before Id ever have to empty it! Sorry, pal, but I cant take you to the hospital just yet. Ive got to see what else this baby can do! At press time, Hoyer reportedly asked his son to stick out his other leg so he could show off the lawn mowers power to their neighbor Jim.The post Dad Impressed By How Easily New Lawn Mower Tore Through Sons Leg appeared first on The Onion.