SPOKANE, WALamenting that she still hadnt found the bug-eyed man-child of her dreams, area bachelorette Louise Perkins confirmed Tuesday that she was growing tired of constantly looking for Mr. Bean. It seems like all my friends are settling down with buffoonish, mishap-prone men, but no matter how many dates I go on, I just cant seem to find a Mr. Bean of my own, said Perkins, adding that she longed for the day when a goofy, tweed-jacketed man would get down on one knee and say Bean? to her in a bizarrely low-pitched voice. I dont think Im being too picky. I just want a guy with a digital calculator watch, a teddy bear he treats as a sentient being, and a citron green and black British Leyland Mini he can drive from an armchair strapped to the roof. But every time a date is chock-full of quirky escapades and it seems I might have finally found my Mr. Bean, hell throw up a major red flag by turning a light off at the switch instead of shooting out the bulb with an air pistol. Its exhausting. I know they say Mr. Bean finds you when you least expect itdeviously poking his head out from behind a postbox, perhaps, or dangling from a flagpole as a result of a childish misunderstanding of how to do laundrybut at this point, Im starting to worry that Ill never find the man who makes me feel like Irma Gobb. At press time, Perkins had reportedly swiped left on a dating profile belonging to Rowan Atkinson.The post Single Woman Tired Of Looking For Mr. Bean appeared first on The Onion.