SCHAUMBURG, ILClaiming the new offering would revolutionize the use of pasta sauce in stress reduction and pain relief, Rag officials unveiled a new sensory deprivation marinara tank at a press event Friday. This lightproof, soundproof vat filled with our signature vine-ripened, zesty tomato sauce marks the beginning of an exciting new era in tomato-based relaxation, said Rag spokesperson Ken Ewing, who explained that a savory blend of herbs and salt specially formulated for maximum therapeutic benefits allowed the body to effortlessly float above the surface of the red sauce inside the isolation pod, promoting a combination of anxiety reduction and hearty, high-quality Mediterranean ingredients. The detoxifying marinara is slowly simmered to the exact temperature of the users body, allowing the mind to drift freely into a meditative gravy state, just like Nonna used to make. The experience is available in both traditional and chunky varieties, including a tactile thermal meat sauce and a highly stimulating arrabiata optionguaranteed to clear your mind of everything except authentic, Old Worldstyle Italian flavor. Rag went on to recommend that customers visit the brands website, where they posted a bonus recipe for an invigorating gazpacho cold plunge.The post Rag Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank appeared first on The Onion.