Hiking can be an enjoyable way to achieve your exercise goals while spending quality time in nature. Here are The Onions tips for first-time hikers.Before heading into the wilderness, practice walking around and getting bored in your neighborhood.Carry a writing implement and paper for your heartbreaking last note.Dont hike with anyone youre not willing to eat.Head in a general up direction.When encountering potentially dangerous animals, spread your wallet open as wide as you can to demonstrate that you are richer than they are.Only venture off the official trail to investigate the mystical voice of a woman singing somewhere just out of view.Wear reflective gear so circling vultures can find you.Be considerate of other hikers by only playing Chers greatest hits from your bluetooth speaker, not deeper cuts that nobody knows.Tip wildlife generously.Start early so you can ditch the hike and get to iHop before the crowds.The post Tips For First-Time Hikers appeared first on The Onion.