Saturday, June 14 marks the 250th anniversary of the founding of the U.S. Army, which will be celebrated with a festival and military parade in Washington, D.C. The Onion examines the facts and figures behind the event.12: Repurposed Mastercard Pride floats26%: Likelihood tanks cave in city street and plunge into center of Earth4: Military stars being awarded to Kid Rock200,000: Attendees who just remembered parades are kind of boring to watch833: Tanks it takes to spell out HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARMY AND, COINCIDENTALLY, DONALD TRUMP9:45 p.m.: 250 Years Of PTSD Fireworks Show0: Number Of JD Vances invited15 to 20: Sentencing range for protesting the paradepeacefullyPriceless: The smile on that sweet presidents faceThe post Trumps Military Parade By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.