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Pros And Cons Of Banning Fireworks
Millions of Americans will celebrate Independence Day with fireworks this year, though the legality of the explosives varies throughout the country. The Onion examines the pros and cons of banning fireworks.PROKites can take their rightful place as sovereigns of the skyLose most effective way to quickly raze 4,000 acres of forestlandMedical fireworks still available through firework dispensariesNo reason to visit Indiana anymoreMoms new boyfriend will instead have to prove himself by eating really spicy pepperCONNo way to find out which dogs would abandon you in a shootoutFar fewer loose fingers for birds to incorporate into nestBillys Fireworks & Stuff can only sell so many vapesNo other reason to look up at the sky in wonderYet another American tradition discarded for nothing more than safety, environmental hazards, animal welfare, and good tasteThe post Pros And Cons Of Banning Fireworks appeared first on The Onion.
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