SAN FRANCISCOKicking himself for having made such a foolish error in judgment, restless tech billionaire Jasper Stroud expressed regret Friday at having an infusion of childs blood after 4 p.m. I shouldve just taken a nap instead of popping open my blood boy fridge and getting a quick hit, said the anxious fintech founder, noting that so much blood so late in the day was bad for his sleep schedule and he could already feel the middle schoolers testosterone upping his heart rate. Even a couple drops is a lotwhat the hell was I thinking taking a whole liter of this stuff? Im going to be tossing and turning in my bed for hours thanks to this fresh, youthful blood! Jesus, I shouldve had it parabiotically filtered through a college student at the very least. At press time, the jittery billionaire was running on his underwater treadmill to see if he could sweat out the 13-year-olds hormones.The post Restless Billionaire Regrets Having Infusion Of Childs Blood After 4 P.M. appeared first on The Onion.