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A great white shark trapped on a sand bank along the coast of Australia was saved by three men who spent nearly an hour maneuvering the animal into deeper waters. What do you think?Hopefully this will usher in an age of peace between Shark and Man.Eric Creech, Systems AnalystThis may seem compassionate, but ultimately youre just preventing them from ever evolving legs.Gary Sturdevan, Tortilla FlattenerIts good to know there are still some stupid Samaritans out there.Jasmine Remmler, Keyboard DusterThe post Australians Rescue Great White Shark Stranded In Shallow Water appeared first on The Onion.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, 1 in 31 U.S. children is diagnosed with ASD, also known as autism spectrum disorder. The Onion dispels the common myths surrounding autism.MYTH: Autism is caused by vaccines.FACT: There is no scientific evidence that the microchips inside vaccines are linked to autism.MYTH: All autistic people are good at math.FACT: All autistic people are good at Wave Race 64.MYTH: Bad parenting causes autism.FACT: Bad parenting causes people to believe that bad parenting causes autism.MYTH: Only boys can be autistic.FACT: Girls were given access to the spectrum in 1983.MYTH: There werent autistic people in the past.FACT: Who do you think categorized all the bugs?MYTH: All autistic people have a special skill.FACT: Autistic people are often just as useless as the rest of us.MYTH: Autistic people will use martial arts to kill my family.FACT: The Accountant and The Accountant 2 are works of fiction.MYTH: Some people with autism may never work.FACT: Thats awesome, good for them.MYTH: You should have been much, much nicer to your classmates with autism growing up.FACT: This one checks out, actually.The post Autism: Myth Vs. Fact appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTONQuestioning the presss past coverage of the man known as the D.C. sniper, social media users have reportedly begun criticizing the early 2000s media for its harsh treatment of John Allen Muhammad. You should have seen the tabloids back thenthey were so mean to him, 37-year-old podcast host Leigh Scholler wrote Monday, lambasting outlets from news broadcasts to blogs for their cruel and unnecessary depiction of the serial killer. He was all over the papers, all the time. He couldnt shoot anybody without making a headline. Can you imagine how that must have made him feel? These vultures were rooting for and celebrating his downfall. We all were. Honestly, it makes me sick. Scholler went on to express hope that at least the nation was learning to treat mass shooters with more empathy.The post Early 2000s Media Criticized For Harsh Treatment Of D.C. Sniper appeared first on The Onion.

DURHAM, NCThreatening to have his client sit out the rest of the academic semester unless he was paid what hes worth, Cooper Flaggs agent Austin Brown negotiated a 10% increase Monday in textbook buyback value for the NCAA star from the Duke University bookstore. This Intro to Psychology textbook is top-of-the-line, and we arent budging on this, so dont spit in our face with this weak-ass $25 offer when you know Cooper is worth $27.50, Brown said to an English literature grad student working part time at the bookstore, explaining that Duke must not understand the asses Flagg puts in seats if they arent will to accept a macroeconomics textbook that is clearly only lightly used. I will burn your whole life down okay? I will go scorched earth. Who the hell has heard of Duke University anyway? I hear North Carolina is paying $40 for Earth: A Physical Geology. It still has the accompanying CD-ROM in the back, for Christs sake. This is the 2018 edition, and these babies are still crisp as the day he got them. That better become $44 real quick, or were walking. And at least look my client in the face while youre trying to fuck him. At press time, Brown had also secured Flagg a complimentary third taco and fountain drink at the Duke dining hall.The post Cooper Flaggs Agent Negotiates 10% Increase In Textbook Buyback Value At Duke Bookstore appeared first on The Onion.

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CORRECTS ID TO KRUGMAN NOT KRUGER Kate Krugman, facing camera, and other students from Atlanta's Midtown High School confer during a semifinal round of the National High School Ethics Bowl in Chapel Hill, N.C., on Sunday, April 13, 2025. (AP Photo/Allen G. Breed)2025-05-05T04:18:23Z CHAPEL HILL, N.C. (AP) A contrast:At the National Speech and Debate Tournament, two high school students take the stage. The first articulates the position he has been assigned to defend people should have a right to secede from their government and why it is correct. Another student, assigned the opposite position, begins to systematically tear down her opponents views. A year later and 800 miles away, two teams of high school students convene at the University of North Carolina for the National High School Ethics Bowl finals. A moderator asks about the boundaries of discourse when a public figure dies, how do you weigh the value and harm of critical commentary about their life?Teams have not been assigned positions. One presents their ideas. The opposing team asks questions that help everyone to think about the issue more deeply. No one attacks. Many a young debater may learn the rhetorical skills to become a successful lawyer or politician, subduing an opponent through wit and wordplay. But are they learning skills that will make them better citizens of an increasingly complex and contentious republic?In an age when many Americans are wondering whether it is still possible to have a principled, respectful disagreement over important issues, proponents of Ethics Bowl say it points the way. Discussion replaces contentiousnessEthics Bowl may resemble debate. After all, its two teams discussing a controversial or difficult topic. But they are very different. In Ethics Bowl, teams arent assigned a specific position on an issue that they have to defend regardless of their beliefs. Instead, members are given cases to discuss and make their own decisions about what they consider the best position. Teams can, and often do, come to similar conclusions. It is and this is important OK for them to agree. Scoring is based on how deeply they explore the issues, including other viewpoints. Robert Ladenson, who developed the Ethics Bowl as a college philosophy classroom exercise back in 1993 and went on to lead the Intercollegiate Ethics Bowl for decades, explains what he considers an ethical understanding of an issue in an oral history for the University of Illinois in 2023.It means having some capacity to view, from the inside, the ethical outlooks of people who disagree with you. That means not simply being aware of what theyve said or what theyve written, or being able to develop a nifty debaters responses to the viewpoints they hold but really looking inside the other view and trying to understand it from the other persons way of looking at the world. Its a reach for understanding and common groundThat plays out at Ethics Bowl. Take the case See Spot Clone, about whether it is ever ethical to clone a beloved pet.Harpeth Hall from Nashville starts the discussion with six minutes to present their thoughts. There are millions of homeless pets, so the ethical choice is to adopt, they believe. Cloning is self-serving for the human. The pet cannot consent to being cloned. Also, cloning may involve unknown health issues for the cloned pet, as in the renowned case of Dolly the sheep. The team also believes that death is a part of life, and it is important for people to confront death. Now it is the turn of team B, Miamis Archimedean Upper Conservatory not to attack and refute, but to ask questions that expand the discussion. What about pet breeders? Where do they fit on the ethical continuum? Also, whats so wrong with cloning a pet for your own happiness? Are all selfish pursuits bad?Team A responds that breeding is better than cloning but worse than adopting a stray. They point out that a cloned pet will not have the same personality, and that could bring the owner pain instead of comfort. Next the judges ask questions. What if there were no possible health problems for the cloned animal? What if the animal is not cloned to comfort an owner but for a more noble purpose? Would it be ethical to clone a skilled search-and-rescue dog?Cloning is still a threat to the natural cycle of life, Team A contends. And there is no guarantee that the temperament and personality that make an excellent service animal would be retained in a clone. Once the round is complete, the moderator introduces a new case. Easy answers are avoidedIn a society awash in shortcuts and simple solutions, simply setting the ground rules for contentious conversations can be a high hill to climb. At the Ethics Bowl, though, its part of the point: The process of conversation is as important as the outcome. And subtlety matters.A good Ethics Bowl case is one where two well-meaning individuals can take in all of the same facts and information and come to diametrically opposite, value-driven answers, says Alex Richardson, who directed the National Bowl for five years. The cases students grapple with include real-life scenarios pulled from the headlines, like the less-than-respectful response to the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson. There are also more philosophical issues, like whether humans should pursue immortality. And there are dilemmas that teenagers deal with every day, like whether not posting on Instagram about a hate crime in your community makes you complicit. That last case was a difficult one for the team from Harpeth Hall, they say, but it helped them clarify some of their thoughts around social media. We came to the conclusion that no one is obligated to share information, says Katherine Thomas. But then there was a difference like when youre talking about Taylor Swift, when she actually could register 500,000 people to vote but she decides not to. Is she actually complicit in that? She has the actual power to make change, where I dont, really, with my 200 followers.Another case considered whether to confront an uncle who makes sexist remarks at the dinner table. Discussing the issue with her Harpeth Hall teammates helped Thalia Vidalakis think through when it might be good to speak up and when its good to just be there for your family and recognize that theres going to be differences.It unfolds in a low-key wayA group of teenagers sits at a table with sticker-covered water bottles and the occasional Red Bull. They are allowed only pens and blank paper, no previous notes, but their backpacks litter the room. Their opponents sit at a neighboring table. In between is a moderator. Facing them are three judges pulled from the UNC philosophy department, Ethics Bowl leaders from other states, even the community at large. There is no dress code, so the teens come in whatever they consider nice clothes.The teams have been discussing a group of cases for weeks, but they dont know which theyll be asked about. Once the question is read, they are given a few minutes to discuss. Thats when one or two of the teammates generally scurry around the table to huddle. Intense whispering and furious scribbling ensue. Its clearly a contest. There is a winning team and a trophy. But students say it is not competitive in a traditional sense. Were all sad that it has to end. But I agree that its not about beating people, says Lizzie Lyman, whose first-year team from Midtown High School in Atlanta lost in the semifinals of the national championship. When it becomes about winning and beating the other team, it gets hostile and ... just unsavory. When its about constructively answering a question and just having a really interesting, engaging conversation, thats where you get to have all these amazing conversations.Competitiveness isnt only beside the point. It can even be counterproductive in achieving the desired goal. Thats how Mae Bradford of the winning team BASIS Flagstaff from Arizona sees it. Her assessment: Something thats rare and unique about Ethics Bowl is that those who dont focus on winning and instead focus on truth and respect and getting to the moral heart of the issue will win.Changing minds, one kid at a timePart of the point of the Ethics Bowl is to create well-rounded students who ingest other viewpoints and engage without arguing. A 2022 survey of participants in nationals found that 100% believed that their critical thinking skills had improved. A large majority said their ethical or political beliefs had changed. There is clearly a thirst for a different kind of competition. The National High School Ethics Bowl is only 12 years old, and this year saw 550 teams competing in regional bowls around the country.Sona Zarkou, also on the BASIS Flagstaff team, sees herself as a case study in Ethics Bowl benefits. When she practiced debate, she says, she was kind of a jerk very quick to attack and very rude about opposing views. In Ethics Bowl she sees herself turn the discussion to something a lot more respectful, a lot more truth-oriented.Rhiannon Boyd, a judge at this years competition as well as a high school teacher and coach and the organizer of the Virginia High School Ethics Bowl, has seen the positive changes as well. Two of her students last year were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. Their disagreement was great. Could they be on the same team together? In the end, both joined and made it all the way to nationals. Their differing opinions remain. But now, Boyd says, they are really good friends.They can see each others strengths because they were sitting side by side at nationals in a huddle trying to build off of each others ideas, she says. They could see that leveraging those differences was actually the thing that made them strong. Ethics Bowl: Lesson learned. ___AP National Writer Allen G. Breed contributed to this report.

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Vehicles drive past an anti-Israel banner showing numerous locations in Israel as a Yemeni dagger (jambiya) with writing in Farsi reading: "All targets are within range, Yemeni missiles for now!", and in Hebrew "All targets are within reach, we will choose", at the Felestin (Palestine) Sq. in downtown Tehran, Iran, Monday, May 5, 2025. (AP Photo/Vahid Salemi)2025-05-05T13:20:01Z DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) Iran is talking tough while still wanting to talk more with the United States over a possible nuclear deal. In the last days, Tehran has backed an attack by Yemens Houthi rebels that slipped through Israels missile defenses to strike near Ben-Gurion International Airport. It aired footage of its own ballistic missile test while defense minister called out threats by U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth against the Islamic Republic. And an organization linked to its paramilitary Revolutionary Guard unveiled a new mural with a map of Israel overlaid by possible missile targets in the shape of a Yemeni jambiyya, an ornamental dagger worn by Yemeni men. But all the while, Iran maintains it wants to reach a nuclear deal with the U.S. after talks scheduled to take place last weekend in Rome didnt happen. Thats even as Trump administration officials continue to insist that Tehran must give up all its ability to enrich uranium in order to receive sanction relief something Iran repeatedly has said is a nonstarter for the negotiations. Israel-Hamas war changes equation for IranAll this together can feel contradictory. But this is the position where Iran now finds itself after having been ascendant in the Mideast with its self-described Axis of Resistance, countries and militant groups finding common cause against Israel and the U.S. That changed with the attack by the Palestinian militant group Hamas on Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, which killed some 1,200 people and saw 250 others taken hostage back to the Gaza Strip. Israel launched a devastating war on Hamas in Gaza that rages on even today and may be further escalating after Israel approved plans Monday to capture the entire Gaza Strip and remain there for an unspecified amount of time. Israels war has killed more than 52,000 people in Gaza, many of them women and children, according to Palestinian health officials, who do not distinguish between combatants and civilians in their count. In the course of the war, Hamas, Lebanons Hezbollah and other Iran-backed militants have been beaten back by Israeli attacks. Syrian President Bashar Assad, long backed by Iran, saw his familys over 50-year rule end in December as rebels swept the country. Thats left Iran with just Yemens Houthi rebels, though they too now face an intensified campaign of strikes by the Trump administration. Iran carefully applauds Houthi strike on IsraelThe strike Sunday on Ben-Gurion repeatedly earned highlights in Iranian state media. However, Irans Foreign Ministry made a point to insist that the attack had been an independent decision by the group. Expert opinion varies on just how much influence Iran wields over the Houthis. However, Tehran has been instrumental in arming the Houthis over Yemens decadelong war in spite of a United Nations arms embargo. The Yemeni people, out of their human feelings and religious solidarity with the Palestinians, and also to defend themselves in the face of continuous aggression by America, have taken some measures, Irans Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmail Baghaei said Monday. Meanwhile, Iranian Defense Minister Gen. Aziz Nasirzadeh called out comments by his American counterpart who had warned that Iran would pay the CONSEQUENCE for arming the Houthis with weapons.I advise the American threatening officials, especially the newcomer defense minister of the country, to read the history of Iran in the recent four decades, the general said. If they read, they will notice that they should not speak to Iran using the language of threats.Iran has not, however, responded to Israeli airstrikes targeting its air defenses and ballistic missile program in October.Nuclear deal remains a top Iranian priorityBut getting to a new nuclear deal with the U.S., which could see Tehran limit its enrichment and stockpile of uranium in exchange for the lifting of economic sanctions, remains a priority for Iran. Its troubled rial currency, once over 1 million to $1, has strengthened dramatically on just the talks alone to 840,000 to $1.The two sides still appear a long way from any deal, however, even as time ticks away. Iranian media broadly described a two-month deadline imposed by President Donald Trump in his initial letter sent to Irans Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Trump said he wrote the letter on March 5, which made it to Iran via an Emirati diplomat on March 12. Meanwhile, the U.S. campaign on Yemen and Israels escalation in Gaza continues to squeeze Tehran. Thats on top of American officials including Trump threatening sanctions on anyone who buys Iranian crude oil, as well as following a new, harder line saying Iran shouldnt be able to enrich uranium at all. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who strongly encouraged Trump to unilaterally withdraw American in 2018 from Irans nuclear deal with world powers, also has been pushing for the same. Iran likely has been trying to get messages to America despite last weekends planned talks in Rome being postponed. Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi flew to Islamabad to meet his Pakistani counterpart, Ishaq Dar. A readout from Pakistans Foreign Ministry acknowledged the men discussed the nuclear negotiations. Araghchi got a colder reception from Kaja Kallas, the foreign policy chief of the European Union. While European nations have had warmer ties to Iran in the past, Tehrans arming of Russia in its war on Ukraine has angered many in the EU. I called on Iran to stop military support to Russia and raised concerns over detained EU citizens and human rights, Kallas wrote Monday on the social platform X. EU-Iran ties hinge on progress in all areas.___Associated Press writers Nasser Karimi and Amir Vahdat in Tehran, Iran, and Riazat Butt in Islamabad contributed to this report. ___EDITORS NOTE Jon Gambrell, the news director for the Gulf and Iran for The Associated Press, has reported from each of the Gulf Cooperation Council countries, Iran and other locations across the Mideast and wider world since joining the AP in 2006. JON GAMBRELL Gambrell is the news director for the Gulf and Iran for The Associated Press. He has reported from each of the Gulf Cooperation Council countries, Iran and other locations across the world since joining the AP in 2006. twitter instagram mailto

Chelsea beat Liverpool, Napoli moved closer to another Serie A title, and Bayern Munich clinched the Bundesliga without playing: Gab Marcotti recaps the weekend.

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President Donald Trump gestures from the stairs of Air Force One upon his arrival at Joint Base Andrews, Md., Sunday, May 4, 2025. (AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)2025-05-05T14:51:05Z WASHINGTON (AP) The Trump administration says it is going to pay immigrants in the United States illegally whove returned to their home country voluntarily $1,000 as it pushes forward with its mass deportation agenda.The Department of Homeland Security said in a news release Monday that its also paying for travel assistance and that those people who use an app called CBP Home to tell the government that they plan to return home will be deprioritized for detention and removal by immigration enforcement. If you are here illegally, self-deportation is the best, safest and most cost-effective way to leave the United States to avoid arrest. DHS is now offering illegal aliens financial travel assistance and a stipend to return to their home country through the CBP Home App, Secretary Kristi Noem said. President Donald Trump has made immigration enforcement and the mass deportation of immigrants in the U.S. illegally a centerpiece of his campaign, but that is a costly, resource-intensive endeavor. While the Republican administration is pushing Congress for a massive increase in resources for the Immigration and Customs Enforcement department responsible for removing people from the country, its also pushing people in the country illegally to self-deport. REBECCA SANTANA Santana covers the Department of Homeland Security for The Associated Press. She has extensive experience reporting in such places as Russia, Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. twitter mailto

Federal Reserve board chairman Jerome Powell, left, speaks with IMF Economic Counsellor and Research Department Director Pierre-Olivier Gourinchas as they arrive for the plenary of the International Monetary and Financial Committee (IMFC) meeting, during the World Bank/IMF Spring Meetings at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) headquarters in Washington, Friday, April 25, 2025. (AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana)2025-05-05T04:01:37Z WASHINGTON (AP) The Federal Reserve will likely keep its key short-term interest rate unchanged on Wednesday, despite weeks of harsh criticism and demands from President Donald Trump that the Fed reduce borrowing costs. After causing a sharp drop in financial markets two weeks ago by saying he could fire Fed Chair Jerome Powell, Trump subsequently backed off and said he had no intention of doing so. Still, he and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent have said the Fed should cut rates. They argue that inflation has steadily cooled and high borrowing costs are no longer needed to restrain price increases. The Fed sharply ramped up its short-term rate in 2022 and 2023 as pandemic-era inflation spiked. Separately, Elon Musk, the head of Trumps Department of Government Efficiency, last Wednesday suggested that DOGE should look more closely at the Feds spending on its facilities. The heightened scrutiny shows that even as the Trump administration backs off its threats to fire Powell, the Fed is still subject to unusually sharp political pressures, despite its status as an independent agency. Even so, the Fed will almost certainly leave its key rate unchanged at about 4.3% when it meets Tuesday and Wednesday. Powell and many of the other 18 officials that sit on the Feds rate-setting committee have said they want to see how Trumps tariffs affect the economy before making any moves. Trump, however, on Friday said on the social media platform Truth Social that there is NO INFLATION and claimed that grocery and egg prices have fallen, and that gas has dropped to $1.98 a gallon. Thats not entirely true: Grocery prices have jumped 0.5% in two of the past three months and are up 2.4% from a year ago. Gas and oil prices have declined gas costs are down 10% from a year ago continuing a longer-running trend that has continued in part because of fears the economy will weaken. Still, AAA says gas prices nationwide average $3.18 a gallon. Inflation did drop noticeably in March, an encouraging sign, though in the first three months of the year it was 3.6%, according to the Feds preferred gauge, well above its 2% target. Without tariffs, economists say its possible the Fed would soon reduce its benchmark rate, because it is currently at a level intended to slow borrowing and spending and cool inflation. Yet the Fed cant now cut rates with Trumps broad tariffs likely to raise prices in the coming months. Vincent Reinhart, chief economist at BNY, said that the Fed is scarred by what happened in 2021, when prices rose amid supply snarls and Powell and other Fed officials said the increase would likely be transitory. Instead, inflation soared to a peak of 9.1% in June 2022. This time they will be more cautious, he said. Thats a Fed that is going to have to wait for evidence and be slow to adjust on that evidence, Reinhart said. Plus, Trumps badgering of Powell makes it harder for the Fed chair to cut rates because doing so anytime soon would be seen as knuckling under to the White House, said Preston Mui, an economist at Employ America. You could imagine a world where there isnt pressure from the Trump administration and they cut rates ... sooner, because they feel comfortable making the argument that theyre doing so because of the data, he said.For his part, Powell said last month that tariffs would likely push up inflation and slow the economy, a tricky combination for the Fed. The central bank would typically raise rates or at least keep them elevated to fight inflation, while it would cut them to spur the economy if unemployment rose. Powell has said that the impact of the tariffs on inflation could be temporary a one-time price increase but most recently said it could also be more persistent. That suggests that Powell will want to wait, potentially for months, to ensure tariffs dont sustainably raise inflation before considering a rate cut. Some economists forecast the Fed wont cut rates until its September meeting, or even later. Yet Fed officials could move sooner if the tariffs hit the economy hard enough to cause layoffs and push up unemployment. Wall Street investors appear to expect such an outcome they project that the first cut will occur in July, according to futures pricing. Separately, Musk criticized the Fed Wednesday for spending $2.5 billion on an extensive renovation of two of its buildings in Washington, D.C. Since at the end of the day, this is all taxpayer money, we should certainly look to see if indeed the Federal Reserve is spending $2.5 billion on their interior designer, Musk said. Thats an eyebrow raiser.Fed officials acknowledge that the cost of the renovations have risen as prices for building materials and labor have spiked amid the post-pandemic inflation. And former Fed officials, speaking on background, say that local regulations forced the Fed to do more of the expansion underground, rather than making the buildings taller, which added to the cost. Meanwhile, Kevin Warsh, a former Fed governor and a potential candidate to replace Powell as chair when Powells term expires next year, said recently that the Fed has attracted greater scrutiny because of its failure to keep prices in check. The Feds current wounds are largely self-inflicted, he said in a speech during an International Monetary Fund conference in late April, in which he also slammed the Fed for participating in a global forum on climate change. A strategic reset is necessary to mitigate losses of credibility, changes in standing, and most important, worse economic outcomes for our fellow citizens.Powell, for his part, said last month that Fed independence is very widely understood and supported in Washington, in Congress, where it really matters. CHRISTOPHER RUGABER Rugaber has covered the Federal Reserve and the U.S. economy for the AP for 16 years. He is a two-time finalist for the Gerald Loeb award for business reporting. twitter mailto

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