'King of Drags Pressure K says drag is the 'cheat code' for defeating their trauma (exclusive)
Last weeks episode of King of Drag saw Pressure K leaving alongside Alexander the Great in a heartbreaking double elimination.While every episode thus far in this inaugural season of the groundbreaking series has delivered on both laughs and heartfelt moments (truly, this show is The Great British Bake Off of drag), this weeks hit even harder. This time, the challenge was all about tapping into and embodying the competitors deepest fears, and what that meant for many of the kings was unpacking their trauma and opening up some of their most vulnerable sides to the world. Leading the charge in that regard was Pressure K. The comic and pride of the Atlanta king community opened up in ways that neither the kings, the audience, the judges, but most of all she ever expected (Pressure K uses he/him pronouns in drag, and she/her off stage). It began with the weenie challenge, in which the kings were tasked with creating a dual makeup look, one side of their face being beautiful and the other monstrous, using e.l.f. Cosmetics. It proved to be an emotional challenge for Pressure K, who revealed a traumatic experience and relationship with makeup. I came home to makeup, he shared with his fellow kings. A loaded statement that only becomes more harrowing when you hear the story behind it. My mother felt like she needed to teach me how to be a woman, Pressure recalls to PRIDE. So I was, like, legit taking classes. This is what a woman does. Or like, if I do something, 'what you did is wrong, this is what you're supposed to do. [It] got to a point where I felt like feminine activities became a punishment.As a result of some perceived deviation from prescribed womanhood, one day in her teens, Pressure came home one day to find someone waiting for her. I'm not exactly sure what I did. I might have, like, wore a hat, or they might have caught me in baggy clothes. I might have made an aggressive move, and I came home to the Mary Kay party, she recalls. While Pressure put on a happy face, one she says her mother had trained her to adopt growing up, I knew how to like... Pressure says while demonstrating a happy expression. People think I'm built for the camera. Really its my trauma of my mother turning me on, and turning me off. As the makeup demonstration went on, Pressure became increasingly convinced it was evidence that she was unacceptable and unlovable. They made me feel like I needed to cover up, like what I had was wrong, like my complexion was wrong, she recalls. The more makeup I put on, the more I didn't look like myself. And I took it as my mother thinks I'm ugly, like I have to cover this up. From then on, Pressure's relationship with makeup was fraught, to say the least. That was until a chance encounter with one of her castmates, Perka $exx, changed everything for her by watching the drag king perform in a full face of makeup and expressing a kind of freedom that Pressure craved. Back in the day, we had drag kings, but we didn't call it drag. We just, like, sing a song so you can get the girl at the club, like it wasn't a thing, says Pressure. But then Perka took to the stage. The way Perka moved and the art [of] his makeup... it wasn't that he was trying to be like, I'm ugly, I need to cover up. It was like he was pushing the art out, explains Pressure. I was like, that's it. I don't know exactly what it is, but I need to know what that is, because it was just an aura of freedom that was coming off of him.It would be a while before Pressure fully realized that aura of freedom for herself, but it happened one night when heartbreak over splitting from her mentor led her to perform her rawest number yet. I was just so heartbroken. And I was listening to gospel at the time, and it was just like every time I heard it, I would just cry, like every time I just felt it, so at an event called Mug Check, Pressure brought that energy to the stage. [I put on] the most regular outfit: black button down, black pants with a robe, like the choir robe, she recounts. Everything started at the stairs and came down and had a whole choir behind me, and I just remember, like I looked up... and I felt that freedom that Perka had. It felt bigger than me. Felt bigger than the pain. It was my freedom, she says. It was the first time I felt like I was able to breathe since me and my wife got married.When asked if drag is how they bypass some of the trauma when those old patterns of emotional repression arise, Pressure K is adamant, Yes, it's the cheat code, she says. Pressure had a similar revelation this week during the horror challenge that saw the king donning a robe again, this time with words emblazoned on it that represented all the dark influences that surround him. This challenge was triggering, Pressure says with a laugh. I thought it was one thing, but it really was deeper.Once again, the origin of this breakthrough moment was rooted in the pain of betrayal by her mentor and her mother.The idea was born out of the moment their relationship with said mentor was severed. [I] looked up to them, loved them, believed in them. I think I feel like I showed up for them more than I showed up for myself, she recalls. We got to the point when they spoke about my wife and my marriage. That's when I came back to, and within our last conversations, she said that she uses evil to win. Pressure is not a fan of the horror genre; they avoid scary movies, so they had to ask themselves what really scares them, and the answer was clear: I'm afraid of being consumed by evil. But to go even deeper, she says. It's still connected to my mother, because my mother's the first promoter. She had a film festival... and I didn't want to be consumed by what she wanted me to be as a woman, in order to be on stage.Thats why when she returned to the Man Cave during the judges' deliberation this week, she opened up about his history, explaining more about that meaning and how healing it was to put it all out there for the world to see. Which includes her family, which Pressure says is watching the show. She occasionally hears from them but has had to put up barriers to protect her heart and sanity. I do receive an email from my mother, I do, and it's definitely gaslighting, for sure, she says. I'm trying to continue to celebrate. I'm living like I have to remind myself of what's now, because I do have that underlying sadness that stays.Thankfully, Pressure is surrounded by love in her home with her wife, Whitley. I'm not Pressure K, we are Pressure K, she gushes. We've been together 15 years, married for 10 years. She's truly my first experience of unconditional love like, I took her name, she says.It took me a while to get used to this kind of thing. Like her dad kisses me on the forehead my dad won't even hold my hand in public. So it's the [winning] and the dream really started when we fell in love. The winning and the dreaming continue. Pressure has been chasing the dream for seven years, and, at last, she is catching it. Not only has the love begun pouring in from fans far and wide, but the bookings have been improving too. The price has gone up, she jokes. But perhaps the biggest win is in the community she found with her cast. It's truly like a dream come true, and to be we like to call it the first 10 to be the trailblazer, it really feels like I'm a part of the perfect puzzle. 'King of Drag' is now streaming on Revry, with new episodes dropping every Sunday.
