Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-01195-3Efforts to boost tree cover and restore degraded land globally need stable funding and time to learn from failure.

Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-01102-wGrand anti-desertification schemes often fail when trees die and funding dries up yet one project has broken the mould.

On an overcast Saturday in February, a street vendor named Elmer lined up dozens of pairs of worn but carefully cleaned tennis shoes on tables next to a convenience store.The 44-year-old father from Honduras felt like his head was on a swivel, greeting the handful of shoppers that approached while also scanning the busy thoroughfare behind him. He was ready to serve or to run.Last fall, as Elmer and his son were setting up their shoe stand, he said, agents wearing Homeland Security vests arrested two Guatemalan men in a nearby parking lot. A few hours later, the Mexican owner of a taco truck across the street was also detained by immigration authorities.Then in December, Elmers 19-year-old nephew was taken, too, following a traffic stop; he remains incarcerated in a Tennessee detention center. Elmer worries that he and his son could be next. They fled Honduras seven years ago to escape gang violence and are not authorized to be in the United States. Elmer spoke with MLK50: Justice Through Journalism and ProPublica on the condition that only his first name be used.Those around Elmer were swept up as part of President Donald Trumps September order deploying more than two dozen state, local and federal law enforcement agencies, including the National Guard, to neighborhoods in Memphis, Tennessee. Unlike federal operations in Minneapolis, Chicago and other cities where immigration officers flooded the streets to ramp up deportations, the stated mission of the Memphis Safe Task Force was different: to end street and violent crime in Memphis to the greatest possible extent.Help Us Report on the Law Enforcement Surge in MemphisWe are still reporting. Have you or someone you know had an interaction with law enforcement since the Memphis Safe Task Force started? We want to talk to Memphis residents who have encountered officers from agencies including the Memphis Police Department, Tennessee National Guard, Tennessee Highway Patrol, Homeland Security Investigations and Immigration and Customs Enforcement. If you work for one of these agencies, wed like to talk to you, too. You can reach Wendi C. Thomas on Signal at wendicthomas.96 or by email at wendicthomas@mlk50.com.But just over a quarter of the more than 5,200 arrests made by the task force in and around Memphis have been for violent crimes, according to an MLK50 and ProPublica analysis of nearly four months of daily arrest reports from October through the beginning of February. The vast majority of violent crime arrests stemmed from outstanding warrants.And despite casting violent criminals as the task forces primary target, the operation has swept up more than 800 immigrants whom law enforcement deemed to be unlawfully present in the United States. Of those, just 2% or 17 were also arrested for violent crimes, our analysis found. Being unlawfully present on its own is a civil, not a criminal, offense.More immigration arrests occurred in and around Parkway Village, the neighborhood where Elmer sells shoes, than in any other part of Memphis, according to our analysis. This majority Black community on the outskirts of the citys core is also one of the fastest growing Hispanic neighborhoods in Memphis. It is dotted with immigrant-owned businesses barber shops, grocery stores, a tax preparer that serve a predominantly Spanish-speaking clientele. Other vendors sell tamales and cheese from the trunks of their cars. Overall, 81% of the neighborhoods task force arrests have been for nonviolent crimes, including immigration violations, drug offenses, theft and illegal possession of weapons.Trump has repeatedly proclaimed success in Memphis, crediting the task force for a more than 30% decline in homicides, aggravated assaults and sexual assaults compared with the same period last year.While some research has shown that a surge in policing could deter crime, Memphis Police Department data indicates that crime had already been dropping steadily since 2023, hitting a 25-year low before the task force began its operations last fall. Criminologists say more analysis is needed to determine how much impact the task force has had on crime rates in Memphis.Abigail Jackson, a White House spokesperson, said crime rates continued to drop due to the great work of President Trumps task force.Every local leader should want to mimic this success, she said in a written statement.Jackson did not answer questions about the gap between the task forces stated mission to end violent crime and the fact that so few of the immigrants arrested were suspected of committing such crimes. Nor did Brady McCarron, a spokesperson for the U.S. Marshals Service, which leads the task force. Instead, he reiterated Trumps claims that the task force has restored law and order to Memphis.All Memphians are safer today than they were seven months ago because of the Memphis Safe Task Force, McCarron said in a written statement. Calls for service are down 18% since last year. Meaning less crimes are being committed that residents must call in for law enforcement response.Federal agents and the Tennessee Highway Patrol conduct a traffic stop in a Memphis shopping plaza in March. Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaIn response to some Memphians saying that the task forces immigration activity makes them feel unsafe and discourages immigrants from reporting crimes and cooperating with police, McCarron said: We are aware of concerns raised by community advocates. Our focus remains on removing violent offenders, recovering illegal firearms, and protecting all Memphis residents, including communities who are disproportionately victimized by violent crime.What the Trump administration celebrates as a successful crime-fighting campaign, Latino advocacy groups and civil rights organizations argue is a crusade thats left much of the Hispanic community in turmoil and fear, as it grapples with the social isolation, economic instability and trauma the task force has brought.The task force has shrunk Elmers world to work, church and a drafty rental home near the railroad tracks that he shares with his 20-year-old son, whom he raised alone.Three of Elmers siblings also live in Memphis, but since the task force arrived, family gatherings have been few. No one wants to risk being detained while driving across town.During the week, Elmer shops for used Nikes, New Balances and other sneakers at thrift stores, then sells them in front of the neighborhood convenience store on the weekends. Elmer said he used to sell 100 pairs of shoes a week. Now, hes lucky if he sells 20 bringing home $500 a month instead of his usual $2,400.Elmer says he used to sell 100 pairs of shoes a week at his stand in the neighborhood of Parkway Village. But weekly sales have dropped to under 20 pairs. Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaElmer said his father, a former police officer who had a car rental business in Honduras capital city, was gunned down after refusing to pay off a local gang. Elmer tilted his chin up as he spoke to keep tears from falling.Sometimes I ask my son, What would your life be like if we never left? Elmer said through a Spanish interpreter. He answered, I would probably be dead, killed by the same gang that took his grandfather.Ever vigilant still, Elmer has mapped three escape routes from his shoe stand, just in case the task force reappears. As he pointed them out, a Tennessee Highway Patrol SUV flew down the road behind him, lights flashing and sirens blaring.On a recent Friday afternoon, while Elmer was working, an unmarked white SUV leaving the parking lot slowed to a stop a few feet from his shoe stand. Immigration officers wearing bulky green vests sat inside the vehicle and stared at Elmer and the Hispanic men standing with him.The agents didnt say a word, Elmer recalled, but I could feel the intimidation because I know who they are.Although it felt like forever, Elmer said, the federal agents only looked at them for 10 or so seconds long enough for Elmer to abandon the escape routes he had planned and remember his sons advice: Dont run, or they may chase you.So he froze, waiting for the moment to pass.Violent Crime Campaign Swept Up ImmigrantsLast month, Trump came to Memphis and declared victory from a stage decorated with seized weapons and cardboard boxes stamped DEA EVIDENCE.You have now developed a reputation as a city thats coming back stronger than any city in the country because of whats happened with crime, and because your political leaders have the courage to do what they did, Trump told hundreds of National Guard troops, law enforcement officers and local and state Republican leaders gathered in a Tennessee Air National Guard hangar.President Donald Trump proclaimed the success of the Memphis Safe Task Force when he visited the city in March. Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaArmored vehicles and a law enforcement helicopter were parked next to the stage, framing the president and other administration officials, including Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller. Miller has worked closely with Tennessee Republicans as they try to pass bills to require courts, public health clinics and law enforcement to cooperate with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The Trump administration has praised the proposed legislation and the task force as possible models for the rest of the country.The influx of law enforcement has created a political minefield for Memphis Mayor Paul Young, a Democrat in a blue corner of a Republican-led state. Hours after Trumps appearance, which the mayor did not attend, Young said during a press conference that the task force has amplified the work Memphis police had already been doing to reduce crime and that the increased law enforcement presence has led to greater results, especially in executing warrants. About half of all task force arrests have been for outstanding warrants.But Young said he disagreed with the task forces immigration enforcement role. Thats not a part of those efforts that I am supportive of, he told reporters. I think that immigrants in our community have been a vital part of the growth of our city for the past 10 to 15 years, and we want them to feel welcome in our community.Mayor Paul Young, alongside Rev. Rolando Rostro (far left), Memphis Police Chief Cerelyn C.J. Davis (left) and the Rev. Zuriel Ondal, speaks at Mullins United Methodist Church in October 2025 during a packed town hall meeting of mostly Hispanic immigrant residents. Andrea Morales/MLK50For immigrants without proper documentation, some say one of the riskiest things they can do since the task force arrived is to get behind the wheel. Of the task forces immigration arrests, about 4 out of 5 followed traffic stops, the MLK50 and ProPublica analysis found. The Tennessee Highway Patrol, which leads the task forces traffic enforcement efforts, usually initiates the traffic stops often for minor violations such as a broken taillight or windows tinted too dark. Then immigration officers, who are often following the state troopers or riding with them, interrogate the driver and passengers, according to Vecindarios 901, an immigration rapid-response organization that has witnessed dozens of stops. Those who cannot provide proper documentation are arrested.The task force did not answer questions about the use of traffic stops as a primary means of arresting immigrants who are not authorized to be in the United States.As law enforcement descended upon Parkway Village, church attendance dipped, according to a pastor with a primarily indigenous Guatemalan congregation; parishioners too scared to leave home chose instead to submit prayer requests through online services, she said. Pastors have agreed to serve as guardians to their members U.S.-born children in case their parents get deported.Business owners and grocery store workers say sales have plummeted, forcing some to cut back on staffing. In the first weeks of task force operations, Hispanic student attendance at a neighborhood school fell by half, one administrator said.At another neighborhood school, its communications coordinator, Paola, used to start her workday at the front desk, greeting students. Now she often starts it in her car, shuttling a pair of siblings to school. The 21-year-old from Venezuela stepped in to help after the childrens father was arrested in October during an appointment at immigration court. Their mother is afraid to drive them to school.Paola works at a neighborhood school. On most days, she gives a ride to two students whose father has been detained by immigration officials. Andrea Morales/MLK50Paola and her father worried at first that she, too, might be detained even though she is authorized to work in the United States. She agreed to be interviewed on the condition that only her middle name be used to protect her and her family.Our role is not political, she said. We are here to care for students and their families.Minutes away off Winchester Road, a busy street in Parkway Village, the Rev. Rolando Rostro is also watching out for his community. Rostro pastors Iglesia Nueva Vida, the largest Hispanic church in the Memphis area, where Sunday attendance fell from 800 to 500 during the first several months of the task force. Parishioners still live in fear, but attendance has gradually increased, he said. We have to go to church.Rostro, on stage, holds a Christmas gift exchange for his congregation at Iglesia Nueva Vida in December 2025. Andrea Morales/MLK50Alerted to traffic stops through phone calls or an online system set up by Vecindarios 901, Rostro often responds to the scene after state troopers or county sheriffs officers followed by federal agents have pulled drivers over. Its part of his assignment as a pastor during a difficult period for his community, he said; he goes to bear witness and ask that immigrants arrested be released. The Bible says ask and you will receive, he said.Sometimes, he recognizes his parishioners.Hey, thats not the worst of the worst, Rostro said he has told the law enforcement officers, rebutting the Trump administrations characterization of the immigrants federal officials are targeting. I know him. He goes to my church. Hes a good man, Rostro has said in hopes that sharing details about the peoples lives would plant a seed of a different way of seeing things.During Trumps first administration, Rostro said one of his parishioners was released from ICE detention after he spoke with agents.But that hasnt happened this time.So he checks in with church members who are detained, learning they are held in cold, rat-infested conditions and pressured to return to their home countries. A spokesperson for the Department of Homeland Security said ICE has higher detention standards than most U.S. prisons but would not address the conditions at the detention centers in which Rostros parishioners are held.This is a family community, Rostro said, so the breakup of that is very detrimental to the children and to the whole family structure.A Community Hub UnnervedA few miles down the street from the church, Juan Hernandez, who is originally from Mexico, led a reporter through El Mercadito, the sprawling indoor shopping center he opened in 2005. Vendors in the normally bustling commercial hub had few customers to greet one afternoon in early March.Juan Hernandez in his restaurant in his shopping center, El Mercadito Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaWith dozens of immigrant-run booths selling everything from neon safety vests for construction workers to frilly dresses for little girls, El Mercadito also rents space for events, including lucha libre (Mexican wrestling) and quinceaeras.But since October, there have been fewer bookings for birthday parties. As shoppers stayed home, some booth owners struggled to keep up with the rent, Hernandez said. Two Guatemalan booth owners were so fearful to come to work that they shuttered their clothing stands.In the task forces first weeks, Hernandez tried to calm the fears of shoppers, vendors and his employees at the Mexican restaurant inside the market. He hired private security to guard the doors and to monitor video cameras for signs of task force agents. Then he realized that it was the traffic stops by state troopers that were most often leading to immigration arrests, so he no longer needed the guards.Two or three times a week, federal agents would show up at his restaurant for breakfast. First one, then a pair, then eight or more, pushing tables together. When they left to get in their cars, Hernandez saw them putting on vests marked HSI: Homeland Security Investigations.On two occasions, someone hes not sure if it was a customer or a booth owner posted photos of the agents at El Mercadito on social media, as a warning to customers to stay away.Hernandez understands why people are wary: Two of his friends have been deported by immigration authorities across town, leaving behind teenage children. The sister of one of his servers was detained.But, as he has explained to his vendors and employees in a meeting, no shoppers or diners means no income for the booth owners or the restaurant. He said restaurant sales have fallen by 40% since the task forces launch.Business has been slow at El Mercadito since a law enforcement surge began. A few vendors, fearing they would be detained, have shuttered their booths. Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaI used to have these feelings of anger like, you know, they are looking for us, and then they come to eat here, Hernandez said through a Spanish interpreter, but there was nothing he could do. They were paying for the food, so we have to serve.Hernandez typically offers police officers 10% off their checks, but not for this group. I decided I dont give discounts to them because of the harm they are doing in our community.Hernandez had received amnesty under Republican President Ronald Reagan when he came to the United States more than 40 years ago. He said hes now been forced to consider the unthinkable.I have never had the thought of coming back to my country, he said. Now I do because of the government.Hernandez shows an event space inside El Mercadito. Kevin Wurm/MLK50/CatchLight Local/Report for AmericaHow We Reported This StoryMLK50 and ProPublica obtained daily reports of arrests made by the Memphis Safe Task Force via public records requests to the Shelby County District Attorneys Office.Each entry in a report includes the defendants name, their mug shot, a generalized location and an arrest summary that includes charges, if the arrest resulted from a warrant, the warrant details and the arrest address. The reports cover Oct. 1, 2025, through Feb. 5, 2026, but we are missing records for 10 days.Details of each arrest were extracted from the summary using image recognition and a large language model, including the address where the arrest occurred, each charge and if the person is not authorized to be in the United States. We listed individuals as immigrants when the task force referred to them as an illegal alien or if they were arrested for violating immigration laws. The output was manually reviewed for accuracy.Multiple geocoding services were used to identify the coordinates and ZIP code of each immigration-related arrest. For entries without a building number, we assigned a ZIP code if the entire listed road was wholly contained within it. We manually checked the results of geocodes with more than 500 meters of variance. Some arrests could not be matched to a ZIP code about 1 in 3 and were omitted from our arrest by ZIP code analysis. The ZIP code with the most immigration arrests is 38118, which includes Parkway Village, Oakville, Oakhaven and Capleville. Even when arrests that could not be assigned to a location were attributed to the ZIP code that contained most of the associated road segment, 38118 still had the most immigration arrests. The heaviest concentration is in and around Parkway Village, a loosely defined neighborhood with unspecified borders. All crimes in this ZIP code were checked with multiple geocoding services. We considered an arrest in and around Memphis when it was inside of the metropolitan statistical area.We categorized violent crimes using the National Institute of Justices definition, which includes any incident where a victim is physically harmed or threatened with violence. An LLM matched charges to the FBIs National Incident-Based Reporting System offense codes. We manually reviewed each. An arrest was classified as violent if it included a charge for murder, homicide, rape, sexual assault, robbery, domestic violence or assault (aggravated, simple and intimidation). Not all homicides are murders, such as justified killings and negligent deaths. Our methodology counts a car crash that resulted in the death of an infant as violent.The post Trumps Memphis Crime Task Force Arrested Over 800 Immigrants, Records Show. Only 2% of the Arrests Were for Violent Crimes. appeared first on ProPublica.

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Peter Magyar, leader of the election-winning Tisza Party, talks to the media before meeting Hungarian President Tamas Sulyok in the presidential Alexander Palace in Budapest, Hungary, Wednesday April 15, 2026. (Robert Hegedus/MTI via AP)2026-04-15T10:49:56Z BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) Hungarian opposition leader and election winner Pter Magyar said Wednesday that the countrys president had assured him in a meeting that his new government could take power in the first week of May, an accelerated timeline for the end of Prime Minister Viktor Orbns 16-year reign. Following Magyar and his center-right Tisza partys landslide victory in Sundays election in which it won a two-thirds parliamentary majority, the opposition leader has pushed for the transfer of power to occur as quickly as possible. Under Hungarian law, the inaugural session of the new parliament, which must elect a new prime minister, must occur no later than May 12.Following a private consultation with President Tams Sulyok on Wednesday, Magyar told reporters outside the presidential palace in Budapest that Sulyok had assured him that Magyar would be his nominee for the next prime minister, and that the inaugural session would likely be scheduled for the 6th or 7th of May. (The president) thinks, and I think everyone thinks, that its in the interests of the Hungarian nation that after such an overwhelming mandate from the voters, a change in government and a change of regime should happen as quickly as possible, Magyar said. Magyar has vowed to conduct a major overhaul of much of Hungarys governmental structure, and to create separate ministries for health, environmental protection and education that did not exist under Orbn. Read More In his first appearance on Hungarys public broadcaster in nearly two years on Wednesday morning, Magyar said his new government would suspend the services news programming which has functioned for years as a mouthpiece for Orbns Fidesz party until conditions are established that are independent, objective, and impartial.One of the key elements of our program is that this factory of lies will come to an end once the Tisza government is formed, he told the host. Magyar has called on Orbns government to act as a caretaker in its final weeks, and not to make any decisions that could threaten Hungarys interests or impede the incoming governments work. He said he had asked the president, who was elected by Orbns majority in parliament, to resign after the formation of the new government, something Sulyok said he would consider. I repeated to him that he is unworthy of embodying the unity of the Hungarian nation, and unfit to be the guardian of the law, Magyar said, adding that if Sulyok does not resign, his new government will make constitutional changes to remove him along with all the other puppets that the Orbn system has installed. Because Tisza secured a supermajority of two-thirds of seats in parliament, the new government will have the power to change the constitution and roll back many of Orbns policies. JUSTIN SPIKE Spike is an Associated Press reporter based in Budapest, Hungary. twitter mailto

Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-01197-1Climate-friendly technologies are the best way to stymie rising inflation and will get better and cheaper over time.

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Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-01065-yNothing beside remains.

Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-00403-4Through flexibility, problem-solving and the generosity of colleagues, I shepherded students through fieldwork remotely.

While last years tax law has raised the average I.R.S. refund, the boost is less than the White House expected and may not have much impact on voters.

An Arizona state personal income tax form is shown Tuesday, April 7, 2026, in Jefferson City, Mo. (AP Photo/David A. Lieb)2026-04-15T12:03:16Z WASHINGTON (AP) Its Tax Day on Wednesday, the deadline for most Americans to file taxes, and the Trump administration says millions of people have already used new breaks such as no tax on tips and overtime, exemptions for interest on certain car loans, deductions for some seniors, and Trump Accounts for childrens savings.More than 53 million filers claimed a deduction under one of those provisions from Republicans massive tax and spending law, a Treasury official told reporters Tuesday ahead of the deadline, with 6 million people claiming no tax on tips, 21 million claiming the overtime deduction and 30 million older Americans claiming the enhanced deduction. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity to preview the numbers, said the 2026 filing season was a success from the administrations perspective.Still, the latest data comes as most Americans, or 7 in 10, still think their taxes are too high, according to recent polling, despite the passage of the Republican tax law which promised big savings for taxpayers. As the tax season kicked off in January, the White House boasted that average returns were projected to rise by at least $1,000. But currently, the average refund amount is $3,462, according to the latest IRS data, which is up 11% or about $350 from last tax years $3,116 average refund payment. Treasury has shifted its messaging to tout that tax refunds this season are up 24% compared with the four-year average of refunds before President Donald Trump took office. Read More The White House has been trying to promote Trumps tax cuts as a way to get voters more enthusiastic about the way hes handling the economy ahead of Novembers midterm elections, but the message has been overshadowed for weeks by higher gas prices caused by the war in Iran. The 2026 season comes as the IRS has gone through a leadership turnover and reduced its workforce by 27% over the past year through cuts brought on by the Department of Government Efficiency. IRS CEO Frank Bisignano is set to testify in front of the Senate Finance Committee on Wednesday. In his public testimony to lawmakers, Bisignano planned to tout the IRS implementation of the Republican tax law. However, Democratic lawmakers zeroed in on IRS disclosures of confidential taxpayer information to Immigration and Customs Enforcement as part of an agreement between ICE and the Department of Homeland Security to share information for the purpose of identifying and deporting people illegally in the U.S. FATIMA HUSSEIN Hussein reports on the U.S. Treasury Department for The Associated Press. She covers tax policy, sanctions and any issue that relates to money. twitter mailto

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2026-04-15T11:16:52Z ANKARA, Turkey (AP) A student opened fire randomly at two classrooms at a middle school in southeast Turkey on Wednesday, killing four people and wounding 20 others, an official said, in the second such shooting in the country in two days.The student, who was also killed, arrived at the school, armed with guns believed to belong to his father, a retired police officer, Kahramanmaras provincial Gov. Mukerrem Unluer said. The gunman was carrying five firearms and seven magazines.The victims included a teacher and three students, Unluer said. At least four of the wounded were in serious condition. The motive of the attack wasnt immediately known.The attack came just a day after 16 people, mostly students, were wounded when a former student opened fire at a high school in nearby Sanliurfa province. The assailant later killed himself. Until this week, such school shootings were rare in Turkey.Earlier, media reports said that authorities sent police and ambulances to the school in the Kahramanmaras Onikisubat district, after gunfire was heard there. Images from the scene showed at least two people being put into ambulances. Parents rushed to the school after hearing reports of an armed attack, NTV television reported, adding that police took security measures around the school.

We start this week with Josephs story on the inherent friction between secure chat apps like Signal and the phone theyre running on. Incoming message content can be stored in a phones internal notification database. After the break, Matthew tells us the latest about the data center pushback. Then in the subscribers only section, Emanuel tells us all about Marathon and its player numbers.Listen to the weekly podcast onApple Podcasts,Spotify, orYouTube. Become a paid subscriber for access to this episode's bonus content and to power our journalism.If you become a paid subscriber, check your inbox for an email from our podcast host Transistor for a link to the subscribers-only version! You can also add that subscribers feed to your podcast app of choice and never miss an episode that way. The email should also contain the subscribers-only unlisted YouTube link for the extended video version too. It will also be in the show notes in your podcast player. FBI Extracts Suspects Deleted Signal Messages Saved in iPhone Notification Database26:01 -Maine Is Close to Passing a Moratorium on New Datacenters33:21 -Farmer Arrested for Speaking Too Long at Datacenter Town Hall Vows to FightSubscriber's Story:I Wish I Didnt Care About 'Marathon' Player Numbers, But I Do

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Tanya Brown, 46, died Wednesday when she was unable to prevent her driverless vehicle from dragging her through a slaughterhouse.The post Tanya Brown appeared first on The Onion.

Room and board provided, but you will need to earn your keep. Your quarters are the garret, where you will sleep in silence beside the groundskeeper. One stick of firewood allotted on Christmas Day, if you have proven satisfactory.Reference #520739The post Wretches Welcome appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORKCalling the move the logical next phase in the leagues continuing expansion into new markets, the NFL announced Monday that, beginning next season, it would begin staging several games across various epochs of history.Weve seen tremendous growth from bringing the game to destinations like London, Berlin, and Mexico City, and now were planning on doing the same for prospective fans living in eras ranging from ancient Egypt to the Italian Renaissance, said commissioner Roger Goodell, detailing plans to host regular-season games in a number of historic and prehistoric settings, with primetime matchups slated for Victorian England, the Yuan dynasty, and several sites on the Pangaean supercontinent. When you look at the Bantu kingdoms or the warriors of the Aztec Empire, its clear these ancient peoples are an untapped audience for hard-hitting NFL action, offering exciting revenue opportunities for the league and its corporate partners. From the moment players disembark from our newly launched Time Zeppelin, Im confident theyll be welcomed across the space-time continuum by these enthusiastic new fan demographics.Goodell went on to confirm that any players lost to unanticipated hazards like time paradoxes, ritual human sacrifice, or carnivorous megafauna would be accounted for within the normal framework of roster attrition.The post NFL Announces Multiple Games Next Season To Be Played Across Ancient History appeared first on The Onion.

DULUTH, MNOverjoyed to have a full house for the first time since everyone went off to college, local mother Leslie Daniels confirmed Thursday it was a dream come true to have all her children back home, a reunion made possible only by the merciless and punishing economic conditions that have stripped an entire generation of financial stability.Im so glad to have all my kiddos under the same roof againits just so nice it worked out this way! Daniels said as she cheerfully stirred a big batch of chili for her three adult children, each of whom had been forced home in their 30s by a brutal convergence of stagnant wages, rising rents, the crushing cost of living, and a job market increasingly corroded by gig labor and artificial intelligence. Im sure theyre glad to be back together again, too. What a lucky coincidence. The only thing they need now is some home cooking and a family movie night.At press time, Daniels was reportedly humming merrily and folding everyones laundry, unaware that her oldest was out selling his plasma so he could make the minimum payment on his credit card.The post Brutal Economy Fulfills Moms Dream Of Having All Her Kids Back Home appeared first on The Onion.

CHICAGOConcluding that the costs of keeping such a device in the bedroom far exceeded the benefits, a study released Monday by the University of Chicagos sleep lab found a strong link between poor sleep and the presence of a gong.Our research consistently revealed that one of the best predictors of a sleepless night was having a gong sound near ones bed, said lead author Dr. Sylvia Mott, who added that study participants reported falling asleep later and waking up earlier when exposed to the deafening clang of a gong being struck with a mallet. Incidences of insomnia increased by 97% when the gong was repeatedly used throughout the night, whether it was a small handheld xiaoluo or a deeply pitched four-foot-wide ageng. For this reason, we recommend avoiding gongs for at least 30 minutes before bed. It might be tempting to hear one last thunderous crash as youre winding down, but the data shows its just not worth it.The study also found that the detrimental effects of gongs could be compounded when combined with two large cymbals smashed together on an unsuspecting sleepers head.The post Poor Sleep Linked To Gong appeared first on The Onion.

This article was primarily reported using public records requests. We are making it available to all readers as a public service. FOIA reporting can be expensive, please consider subscribing to 404 Media to support this work. Or send us a one time donation via our tip jar here.In May 2022, the Chief of Space Operations (CSO) at the U.S. Space Force (USSF) slapped the table on a final melody for the agencys new theme song. The goal was to have the song all done by mid- to late-August. Every branch of the armed forces has its own song, and the Space Force being a relatively new agency needed one too.The result, if you remember, was this song:At the time, the CSO had only approved the melody and words. So that meant the USSF now had to work with a composer on harmonies and everything else. The goal was to provide the CSO with 3(ish) options for Official Version of the USSF Song, according to internal Space Force emails 404 Media obtained through a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request.The emails show in a very humdrum sort of way the painful bureaucracy behind a U.S. military agency making a song. The meetings, the catchups, the deadlines. The legal approvals. And even the suggestion that the agency start writing the song all over again.I do think that Quarter3 s/would be a safe bet. We are hoping that we are at the end of the road. The only thing that scares me (every time I brief him...) is, Yeah... let's just start over on this., one March 2022 email says, referring to the CSO. At the time, the CSO was General John W. Raymond.The point of the song, the Space Force said in a September 2022 press release, was to capture the esprit de corps of both current and future Guardians, and intends to bring together service members by giving them a sense of pride. Guardians are how the Space Force refers to its personnel. The release said James Teachenor was the singer/songwriter who created the lyrics and melody.It was a long road to get there, and by the time of the May 2022 emails the song was already late. Another email says the song was due on 30 June the previous year.Many of the emails are to schedule meetings to then talk about the song. An October 2021 email mentioned scheduling a meeting with a general to discuss the focus group results and develop some recommendations for a way forward in the process of the Space Force song. Another from that month said:For the L2 Council meeting the goal would be to provide the L2s and FC with information on:What work has been done on the songWhere they are going with the songWhat follow on actions are going to occur.Essentially, the goal is to help manage expectations for the CSO. If the song is ready to be played for them, that might also be worthwhile.Some screenshots of the emails. 404 Media hasn't uploaded the full set because some appear to include some personal information.The officials planned to discuss the song for up to 30 minutes in that meeting, the email says.By the following year, the CSO had approved the song but the Space Force still needed approval from the Secretary of the Air Force, one email says.What we do not have is a roll-out plan. If your system is asking for date of roll-out. I believe only CSO could tell you that and he has been hesitant to commit to cultural initiative timelines. We haven't started thinking about that here, another says.Several of the emails include or are signed off with the phrase Semper Supra, Latin for Always Above, which is also what the song is called.Finally to give you an idea of the bureaucracy involved, here is a larger email section:I've got some milestones from here to there. The next big one is NLT 10 June provide CSO with 3(ish) options for Official Version of the USSF Song. Fin working with some composer/arrangers for that task. (TLDR: The version he picked was only melody and words. The writer and I are putting together options that include accompaniment. harmonies, countemelodies... a marching band version that all other arrangements will be based upon. I already have 2 solid version that are approved by the composer of the melody and we are waiting for a 3rd.), one official wrote in a May 2022 email. Their name is redacted in the emails so their role and rank are not clear.The Space Force did not respond to a request for comment.

Nature, Published online: 15 April 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-00687-6As some countries lower the screening age for breast, colorectal and other cancers, scientists warn that it could cause more harm than good.