Pope Francis, the first pope from the Americas, died Easter Monday at age 88. The Onion honors the late pontiff by looking back on his life and legacy.1936: Jorge Mario Bergoglio is born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, to Italian immigrants Regina Mara Svori and God.1953: First ponders priesthood after whiffing on seven different prom invites.1969: Ordained as a priest despite failing the parallel parking portion of the exam.1983: Briefly considered throwing it all away for a woman named Rosa who told him she liked his shirt.19901998: Legendary run with the Chicago Bulls.2013: Named Pope of the Year by Time magazine.2014: Modernizes Catholic Church by allowing jean robes on casual Fridays.2015: Discovers he can hide extra dessert under his hat without anybody noticing.2024: Concerns for his health grow as Pope Francis is increasingly seen standing in an open grave.2025: Dies without telling anyone the password for the Vaticans Hulu account.The post Timeline Of Pope Francis Life appeared first on The Onion.