WASHINGTONPromising to use all of his power as health secretary to find a cure for the condition, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly directed the National Institutes of Health on Friday to create a registry of U.S. introverts who sometimes get social anxiety. When I was younger, there were never people who liked to spend time home alone by themselves, but now its a national epidemic, said Kennedy, who delivered the remarks at a press conference during which he confirmed federal researchers were working hard to develop treatments for individuals who felt occasionally felt uncomfortable in crowded rooms. These people cant live normal lives. They cant make small talk. They cant dance. Theyll never go to a backyard barbecue where they only kind of know one person from work. At press time, experts were warning that the registry could be used to round up introverts for karaoke.The post RFK Jr. Starts National Registry Of Introverts Who Sometimes Get Social Anxiety appeared first on The Onion.