Tis the season of daddy issues.Santa Claus is hot, there I said it. While the rest of you were fawning over Justin Timberlake and Leonardo DiCaprio, I was writing letters to good ol Saint Nick. The man has it all: a cushy job, a custom ride, a signature look, and a killer beard. He also knows his way around a plate of cookies and milk, which is a plus in my book. Not to toot my own horn, but Im something of a Santa connoisseur. Sometimes hes a jolly old man with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Sometimes, hes a silver daddy. Sometimes hes literally Satan in disguise. No matter what variety, he is always a stone-cold fox in a red velvet coat.Related | 34 Steamy Gay Santa Illustrations To Ring in the HoligaysSanta Knows If Youve Been Bad or GoodIf youre like me and you appreciate a full-figured man on a mission to bring joy to the world, then climb on into my sleigh. Today, were putting aside the roughly 1,700-year age gap, and were exploring the North Pole together. Just remember, he sees you when youre sleeping.The Christmas Chronicles (Netflix, 2018)1. Kurt Russell (The Christmas Chronicles, 2018)There was simply no way we could complete this list without Russells iconic Santa. The Christmas Chronicles leaned into the classic Santa look with a modern twist. With a mane of silver hair, a leather jacket, and the swagger of a rock star, this Kris Kringle was more Kris Kristofferson than mall mascot. You cant convince me you wouldnt sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.The Santa Clause (Walt Disney Pictures, 1994)2. Tim Allen (The Santa Clause, 1994)I promise were going to get more obscure than this, but weve gotta get the heavy-hitters out of the way first. Also, for the moment, were casting aside the actors (and their political views) to appreciate the Scott Calvins of the world. As curmudgeonly and bad at parenting as Scott started, you cant deny that he had quite the character arc. I admit that Im not a big fan of the fat suit and the constant fat shaming. Regardless, the first movie was a glow-up for Scott Calvin, no matter how much he resisted it.Violent Night (Universal Pictures, 2022)3. David Harbour (Violent Night, 2022)I have a soft spot in my heart for David Harbour. That goes doubly for his depiction of Santa. This movie is chock-full of lines pulled directly from my Santa fantasies. Maybe its Harbours gravelly voice, or his man bun, or his sick tattoos, or the red leather jacket. Whatever it is, when Santa said he was gonna eat through these guys with a sledgehammer, I was paying attention. The scene where he bandages himself with wrapping paper!? It doesnt get better than that.Dashing Through the Snow (Disney+, 2023)4. Lil Rel Howery (Dashing Through the Snow, 2023)Dont worry, not every entry on this list is PG-13. Sometimes you cant help but fall for a jolly old man with a twinkle in his eye. Rel plays Santa with a kind of warm, everyday charm that sneaks up on you. Hes funny, hes genuine, and he feels like the kind of guy you could actually take home to mom. Now I just have to find a way to get around the pesky Mrs. Claus problem.Elf (New Line Cinema, 2003)5. Ed Asner (Elf, 2003)What can I say? Sometimes, your daddy issues are granddaddy issues. Ed Asners Santa has zero time for bullshit, which is a turn-on all its own. Gruff, practical, and clearly tired of babysitting Buddy, he radiates that seen it all, done it all energy. Hes the working-class Santa who clocks in, does the job, and still has time for a nightcap before bed. Rest in peace, Asner, you did Santa proud.Miracle on 34th Street (20th Century Fox, 1994)6. Richard Attenborough (Miracle on 34th Street, 1994)Richard Attenborough did such a magnificent job in this role, he set the bar for Santas everywhere. Dignified. Magnetic. Twinkly-eyed with Shakespearean gravitas. Attenborough played Santa like he was auditioning for King Lear, and it worked. He had that cozy, grandfatherly thing going on, but with enough regality that youd trust him with your heart. And your stocking. He also might have the best beard on this list, which isnt nothing.The Naughty Nine (Disney Channel, 2023)7. Danny Glover (The Naughty Nine, 2023)Listen, when Danny Glovers voice comes rumbling through as Santa, you sit up straight. He could tell me Im on the naughty list, and Id say thank you. Regal, wise, and giving us full-on daddy energy, this is the Santa you wish would take over at the family Christmas dinner when things get messy.Rise of the Guardians (DreamWorks Animation, 2012)8. Alec Baldwin (Rise of the Guardians, 2012)We have another Santa with tattoos. I repeat, we have another Santa with tattoos. Burly as hell, Russian-accented, and rocking more daddy energy than a woodworkers convention. That long beard, those dark bush eyebrows, and those tree-trunk forearms? Honestly, if you didnt have a crush on North in this movie, I dont trust you.Fatman (Saban Films, 2020)9. Mel Gibson (Fatman, 2020)I apologise for this one, okay? Gibson is a regrettable choice on any hot list, but Im just a simple gay. Rest assured, this decision is purely based on aesthetics. Grizzled, scarred, and looking like he just stepped out of a motorcycle gang initiation, his Santa was pure rough trade. Problematic? Yes. Hot? Also yes.Klaus (Netflix, 2019)10. J.K. Simmons (Klaus, 2019)Animated Santa, but make him broad-shouldered, soulful, and hot enough to split logs with his bare hands. Simmons voice gave Klaus this depth and sadness, while the design gave us a Viking daddy in a red cloak. Hes brawny, hes tender, and I would split logs with that man any day of the week.Santas Slay (Media 8 Entertainment, 2005)11. Bill Goldberg (Santas Slay, 2005)A pro wrestler playing a murderous Santa? Peak camp. Goldberg stomped through this horror movie like a beefy fever dream in red velvet, and I was rooting for him the whole time. If Santas going to kill me, let it be this one.The Polar Express (Warner Bros. Pictures, 2004)12. Tom Hanks (The Polar Express, 2004)Yes, the CGI is nightmare fuel, but lets not ignore the voice. Tom Hanks brought baritone daddy vibes to Santa, and even in uncanny valley form, its hard to deny the magnetism. You know youd still ride that train.Miracle on 34th Street (20th Century Fox, 1947)13. Edmund Gwenn (Miracle on 34th Street, 1947)Ive got to hand it to the OG daddy Claus, Gwenn captured our hearts, and he didnt need muscles or tattoos. He had a twinkle in his eye and a timeless elegance that worked just as well. Sometimes hotness is about presence, and his was undeniable. Honestly? Smash.Coca-Cola Christmas Advertisements (The Coca-Cola Company)14. Coca-Cola Santa (1930sToday)If youre my age, this Santa was the harbinger of the holiday season. Maybe that says more about how commercialized Christmas already was in the 90s, but you cant deny that Coca-Cola Santa is a bear icon. Round belly, rosy cheeks, always smiling. If you can look past the fact that hes a mascot for a multinational corporation, youre left with an image thats basically Big Gay Christmas Energy. Hes the original billboard daddy, and honestly? He deserves his flowers.Santa Inc. (HBO Max, 2021)15. Seth Rogen (Santa Inc., 2021)Say what you want about the show, but Seth Rogens animated Santa had thicc energy. This Santa is for everyone with a bully kink. He was raunchy, sloppy, and very much a frat bro who inherited a sleigh. Hes not boyfriend material, but you cant tell me he wouldnt be fun at your office Christmas party.Arthur Christmas (Sony Pictures Animation, 2011)16. Steve Claus (Arthur Christmas, 2011)Hes not Santa, but he is Santas ambitious, sharply dressed son. Hes also in the running to become Santa, so it counts, okay? Every Claus in this animated classic has their charm, but theres something about Steve. Voiced by Hugh Laurie, hes tall, built like a chimney, and just a little too into himself. We can forgive the ego, though, especially when he looks that good in red camo.Dear Santa (Paramount+, 2024)17. Jack Black (Dear Santa, 2024)Okay, technically, this Santa is actually Satan in a Santa suit. Sometimes a kid misspells Santa and accidentally summons the Prince of Darkness into their bedroom. But when Jack Black brings his chaotic daddy energy to the red velvet coat, it counts. Hes loud, unhinged, and unforgettable. Honestly, Id let this Santa ruin my Christmas.Target Holiday Campaign Kris K. (Target, 2024)18. Brent Bailey (Target Holiday Ads, 2024)Lets be real: Target hired a GQ model and put him in a Santa suit. The ad is only 30 seconds long, but that was enough for me. Brent Baileys Kris K. is so hot it almost made me download the Target app. Almost. If every mall Santa looked like this, I would have one or two wishes for him every year.When Harry Met Santa Posten Norge Ad (Posten Norge, 2021)19. When Harry Met Santa (Norwegian Post Ad, 2021)Gay Santa! Gay Santa! This is the one that broke the internet. Tender, romantic, and canonically gay, this ad gave us the Santa love story weve always deserved. Its sweet, its sexy, and its proof that sometimes the hottest Santa is the one who just wants to find love with a Norwegian guncle. He also pissed off the homophobes, which is always a plus.Kyouran Kazoku Nikki (Nomad, 2008)20. Shonen Santa (Kyran Kazoku Nikki, 2008)Obscure anime Santa alert! If youve ever wanted your Santa to be unbelievably ripped with shnen energy, this ones your guy. File under: niche thirsts, but still valid. I wonder what Santas workout routine is like.Avengers Assemble (Marvel Animation, 2012)21. Jolnir, aka Santa (Avengers Assemble, 2015)Did you know Marvel gave us a superhero Santa, because of course they did. Its ridiculous, its over the top, and its exactly the kind of holiday crossover I want to see more of. Jolnir is a Frost Giant/Elf hybrid with immense magical power, a pure heart, and a pair of meaty biceps as big as my head.Jingle All the Way (20th Century Fox, 1996)22. Fighting Santas (Jingle All The Way, 1996)Picture this. An entire warehouse full of sweaty men in Santa suits beating the crap out of each other. Oh, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is there too. Listen, you may say Im scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but I cant help it if child me held onto this image. Its basically a leather bar Christmas fantasy, and thats valid.CeeLo Green feat. The Muppets All I Need Is Love (Warner Bros. Records, 2012)23. Craig Robinson (Santa in CeeLo Green feat. The Muppets MV, 2012)Weve officially reached niche Claus territory, but stick with me. Ive had a chip on my shoulder ever since The Office denied Darryl the chance to don the red suit back in season 6. Thankfully, CeeLo Green and a room full of Muppets set the universe right. Just like Robinson himself, this Santa is cool, charming, and effortlessly hot.Bobs Burgers (FOX, 2014)24. Nick Offerman (as Pete in Bobs Burgers, dressed as Santa, 2014)Okay, so hes not technically Santa, just a guy in a suit. And maybe Im only including this because I love Bobs Burgers and have a crush on Nick Offerman, but so what? This isnt just some guy, its Pete. Hes the owner of The Junk Yard, a gay bar next door to the original diner. Honestly, that detail alone makes me think Id have a shot with him. Wellif I were animated, anyway. A gay can dream.Persona 4 the Golden Animation (A-1 Pictures, 2014)25. Sumo Claus (Persona 4 the Golden Animation, 2014)Leave it to anime to give us Santa with a body count. In a filler episode, the girls pop into a bizarre Christmas movie where Santa, also known as Thunder Cross, promises to paint the snow red with the blood of his enemies. Enter Sumo Claus: hes shirtless, larger than life, and honestly kind of hot. He can body slam me any day.Yes, Mikey, Santa Does Shave, Recess (Walt Disney Television Animation, 1998)26. James Earl Jones (Santa in Recess, 2001)Is this a deep cut or just a bit unhinged? Youve heard the voice. That deep, velvety rumble as Santa was pure daddy energy. Even animated, James Earl Jones could put you on the naughty list, and youd thank him for it. Dont lie.DuckTales (Walt Disney Television Animation, 2020)27. Bear Santa (DuckTales, 2020)Hear me out. You cant tell me they didnt know what they were doing when they drew this polar bear. Also, is it just me, or is he a littleyou know.Naughty or Nice?So, what do you think, are these Santas naughty or nice? Personally, I would be happy if any of these Santas came down my chimney. I realize that I may have revealed too much here, but someone has to give it up for the holiday daddies. Tis the season, after all.Source