Men have long felt compelled to publicly perform masculinity, and when they dont conform, they pay the price, whether through bullying, self-induced shame, or social isolation. In short, the pressure for men to be manly is crippling society, but at the same time, no one actually knows what it means to be a real man. Such is the subject of an in-depth exploration of masculinity by journalist Jude Ellison S. Doyle, a trans man who posits that we must look toward trans folks to start shifting the way society sees gender roles. Related Trans men are helping each other reclaim agency over their menstrual experiences Clueless doctors & rampant discrimination have led trans men to build their own network of resources to help themselves feel pride in their bodies. If trans people have any gift to give the conversation about masculinity, its just that: we are used to feeling uncomfortable with traditional ideas about how gender works, and used to asking questions that lead us to new and better places, he wrote for Xtra. We know how to embody genders the world tells us are impossible. We know that, if gender doesnt work, it can change. Doyle made this conclusion after speaking to a series of transfeminists to figure out why the far-rights toxic version of masculinity is appealing to anyone. Never Miss a Beat Subscribe to our newsletter to stay ahead of the latest LGBTQ+ political news and insights. Subscribe to our Newsletter today Trumpism is a kind of gender performance, he wrote. Its about shoring up a traditional, misogynistic, dominance-obsessed ideal of masculinity against social progress, about restoring straight cis white men to their traditional place at the head of the family and the top of the world. Attacks on trans people, who supposedly threaten masculinity by existing, are very much a part of that effort.Doyles explorations made him realize that even though so many men, fueled by the right, are bowing at the altar of so-called traditional masculinity, no one actually knows what that means or what kind of person embodies the ideal.But one thing is certain, Doyle said. Whatever that ideal is, its unattainable. Whats at the heart of most masculine performance is not power, or even gender, but a perpetual suffocating anxiety about not performing ones gender correctly.No wonder no one can come up with a definition of masculinityits not an object, but a void where an object should be, a negative that must be proven in each new interaction. The quintessential experience of being a man is wondering if youre really a man; its always actinglikea man and never actually getting to be one.Most men and masculine people dont hold unquestioned patriarchal power, he explained, wondering who benefits from that definition when its almost impossible to fulfill. If men are kept in a state of perpetually aspiring to masculinity, and perpetually failingbuying rulebooks and workout programs andtesticle-tanning packagesand, yes, shaving products, all to embody a gender that was supposedly theirs to begin withthen who gains, other than the forces of capital, keeping masculinity out of reach and selling it back a crumb at a time?Doyle acknowledged that embodying traditional ideals of womanhood is just as impossible, but that gender insecurity in men is prone to being manipulated toward fascist ends. Strongman leaders can vicariously embody the cartoonish, inflated masculinity that men understand themselves to be lacking, he explained, adding that the president is essentially just another set of shaving products and a way to buy back an assurance of masculinity in a world where no ones masculinity is assured. Doyle defines the rights version of masculinity as a euphemism fordominancespecifically, domination of women and queer people.The emotions of powerful white men are given tremendous importance, and allowed to dictate national policy, he said. Its thevictims feelings that dont matter; its empathy forthemthat is being denied. This carries over to the attempts to come up with a softer, more positive masculinity: Strength and leadership sound like nice qualities, but they are both synonyms forbeing in charge.One expert Doyle spoke with, transfeminist Talia Bhatt, explained that masculinity is often used euphemistically for setting men above women. Bhatt believes it is difficult to separate toxic masculinity from any positive form of the concept, since doing so negates the fact that misogyny and violence are patriarchys intended goals. Is it possible to create a coherent idea of masculinity without invoking dominance of women, children, and queer people as part of that package? Doyle asks. Possibly. The first step is measuring the distance between that kind of masculinity and how men actually live.He used his own experience as a trans man to illustrate his point. If you define man as a person with unquestioned patriarchal power, then I am not one, he said. I do certain things to make myself read more masculinestand a little wider, drop my voiceand Im on masculinizing hormones that have made my chest hairier and my upper body stronger. Yet being a trans person, even a white trans man, is hardly a position of unqualified gender privilege, and most people who hate women still hate me. There are masculine people who arent men; there are masculine people who are women. How are they the beneficiaries of patriarchy, given that they are some of its primary victims?Doyle brings up many questions to which there are no easy answers, but he reminds us that the mere existence of trans people could be a critical part of overcoming these challenges. For now, the only thing he knows for sure is that even though no one can define masculinity, Its killing us.Subscribe to theLGBTQ Nation newsletterand be the first to know about the latest headlines shaping LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.