We often associate members of the animal kingdom with gay slang. Go to a gay bar and youre likely to spot bears, otters, cubs, and maybe even a silver fox or two. But now penguins have entered the dating vernacular. Well, not penguins themselves, but their very cute mating ritual.The new dating trend pebbling is gaining traction online and is inspired by the Gentoo penguins sweet love language, where male penguins gift female penguins with small pebbles to build their nests in a unique courting ritual. Humans looking for love arent gifting each other rocks (unless maybe youre an LA lesbian giving a prospective partner some healing crystals), but they are sending small tokens of their affection throughout the day, like funny memes, a TikTok video that made you smile, or buying them their favorite snacks.This is pebbling. But what exactly is this wholesome dating trend, why do people do it, and how does it show up in LGBTQ+ dating? To get to the bottom of it, PRIDE talked to Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist and relationship therapist with over 18 years of experience.What is 'pebbling?'Named after the sweet penguin mating ritual, pebbling describes gifting someone youre dating with small presents, yummy treats, or even funny videos that made you think of them. While its mostly used to refer to dating, people also do these small acts of kindness for friends and family.It can be to make your partner breakfast in the morning, doing the groceries, sending them a song you like and think they would enjoy as well, to buy your partner their favorite snack when they have a bad day, or to tag their name on a cute Instagram post that made you think of them, Roos tells PRIDE.You can also pebble people you're crushing on as a way to leave a lasting impression. It can also be done to someone youre interested in to make them feel your love and interest for them, which is a great way to make them fall for you.What is the purpose of pebbling?Whether youre sending your long-distance partner a good morning text, or bringing home your lovers favorite treat after a hard day, or peppering them with your favorite memes to make the work day less grueling, people are pebbling as a way to make their loved one happy, and out of a desire to share things you think they would enjoy.According to Roos, these gifts and everyday moments of connection help build a stronger relationship and better intimacy.By doing this, you show your partner that they truly matter, and make them feel it, she explains. Because most people don't feel loved by the big actions such as a fancy date or an expensive vacation, but by often getting small gestures of love from their partner, and thats why pebbling is so great to implement in your relationship, or when dating!How can it help communicate interest?Pebbling can be a charming way to flirt with someone in a way that feels more gentle and natural than telling someone youre interested or trying to flirt in a more overt way.If done right, then pebbling is a discreet and elegant way of making someone understand your interest for them, a way that doesn't feel too much or pushy, Roos says.But you have to make sure the recipient of your small gifts understands why youre doing it and doesnt ignore these signs of interest because it isnt a grand gesture. For it to work, you must make the person you pebble really feel it, because otherwise its easy that they don't notice, or that they reject you for just being kind, she admits.When is it overkill?While pebbling can be very cute, it can also be a bit overkill, especially if doing it aggressively or too much early on when trying to get someone to like you, Roos warns.Pebbling can quickly turn into toxic love bombing if you go too far. She says it should just be one tool in a big tool box full of other ways you shower your partner or crush with affection. Use pebbling with some delicacy, ideally in combination with other ways of showing interest, such as physically, by having great conversation and by asking them out, Roos says.Are LGBTQ+ more likely to pebble?Pebbling may only be entering the zeitgeist now, but queer people have been using this technique for years, since it was a safe and more covert way of showing romantic interest or affection even when it wasnt safe to live out loud and proud. Generally, people within the LGBTQ+ community are better at showing love in creative ways that are a bit outside the box, especially people whove grown up in a context where they havent been able to openly show their love and interest, making many better at pebbling since thats a sneaky way to try to show your interest for someone, she explains.What does it mean when someone seems to be pebbling you?It really depends. Most of the time, it means that someone notices you and is thinking about you, Roos says, but cautions that while pebbling can be a way of showing love, it can also be more casual than that. It may just mean someone is attracted to you or are using pebbling to flirt with you.Or theyre doing it because they love your friendship. It can also have nothing to do with love, but that someone just wants to show you some love at a friendly level, Roos explains.Source cited:Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist and relationship therapist with over 18 years of experience, and author at relationship magazine Passionerad.