PITTSBURGHDetailing the harmful, long-term effects of early exposure to the ball clubs dismal on-field product, parents and child safety organizations denounced the Pittsburgh Pirates Monday for directly marketing the team to children. It is deeply irresponsible to lure kids into becoming Pirates fans before theyre emotionally equipped to handle the kind of disappointment and chronic underperformance this franchise will almost certainly inflict on them, said National Child Safety Council spokesperson Rebecca Amoroso, adding that targeted giveaways, cartoon mascots, and Pirates-branded youth merchandise effectively glamorized futility, setting up kids for a lifetime of frustration and terrible baseball. The team knows that no sane adult would willingly become a Pirates fan, so they have to go after minors. They hook children early because they know the cycle of hope and despair is addicting, and if young kids start watching games, theres a good chance theyll grow up to be season-ticket holders. They know that Pirates fandom is linked to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal ideation, but they dont care. Their business model depends on turning innocent, impressionable kids into sullen, dead-eyed adults who pound IC Lights and scream at the TV night after night about the teams abysmal offense once again letting a strong pitching performance go to waste. Its unconscionable. Amoroso went on to urge parents to think twice before taking kids to a Pirates game, suggesting safer alternatives such as rooting for literally any other team in the National League Central.The post Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children appeared first on The Onion.