They may be rare, but they're out there...Within the gay community, power bottoms seem to be a dime a dozen. They're fun, they're charming, and they love a good top.That said, the tops out there seem to be dwindling, especially as men discover the joys of bottoming. When talking about the various sexual positions, the term "power bottom" gets heard relatively often, but one that doesn't get the same amount of shine is its polar opposite: The power top.For some insight, PRIDE sat down with Dr. Michael Grey, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Board Certified Sexologist, the CEO of Grey Insight, and a graduate professor. "There is a running joke in the gay community that there is a top shortage," he says. "How true that is remains to be seen with 'scientific data', if you know what I mean. In certain spaces, there may be this perception of power tops being rare, which can be more about dynamics in the sex pool versus actual scarcity."Read on for what this elusive "power top" actually is, as well as some myths and facts about their role in the bedroom. What is a power top?A power top is generally known to be a little more dominant and aggressive in the bedroom and likes to take control. They usually exude the "top energy" more than others, which basically means everyone knows their preferred role whenever they're out in the wild."Power tops control the pace, positions, and also project a dominant sexual energy," says Dr. Grey. "It emerged in the 90s and likely evolved in response to its power bottom counterpart, carrying a connotation of dominance, stamina, and skill."Can power tops ever be on the bottom?They could, yes, and it's definitely possible that a power top could also be versatile, whether completely so or a top-leaning vers. Some people may think power tops who bottom aren't tops at all, but that's not a completely accurate portrayal."There are no rules dictating that someone needs to be only a top or only a bottom," says Dr. Grey. "It is a matter of preference, not physical or emotional limitation."Let's talk about some other myths and facts revolving around what it means to be a power top.Myth: Power tops have no emotional connection to sexThis isn't exactly exclusive to just power tops, but a lot of gay men have no trouble separating sex and emotional connection. This heavily revolves around the hookup culture we all live in, and there's no judgment here about that. It isn't exactly untrue that power tops don't have any emotions when it comes to sex, but more so that they're far from the only ones who experience that. "Emotional attachment is dependent on the individual, not the role," Dr. Grey explains. "Some power tops may prioritize emotional attunement, aftercare, and communication, while others may engage in more casual, detached encounters. However, someone's communication skills, personal values, and relational status are strong predictors of emotional engagement, regardless of the sexual role itself."Fact: Power tops know how to take care of their menWhat's more important than the emotions is the fact that power tops tend to know how to take care of their men, whether with or without the emotional connection. They get pleasure out of watching their bottom moan, taking life's aggressions out on each other, and exploring each other's boundaries in a safe and consensual way. They know how to get down to business and they know exactly what they're doing once they're there."Technical skill and confidence are part of the equation, and also awareness of your partners responses, consent, and comfort are equally critical to the role," says Dr. Grey. "Youre more likely to have a better experience if the power top pays attention to the verbal and non-verbal indicators and adjusts their techniques. Check-ins are crucial and also more likely to be precise, skilled, and desirable."Myth: Power tops can never be submissiveIn the bedroom, this is probably unlikely, but when it comes to life, however, maybe not so much. This is more likely when you're actually in a relationship with someone, but power tops are simply selective about if and when they submit to anything. In general, they like to maintain control and lead the experience, but every so often it feels just as good to let the bottom take the reins and give the power top a break."Flexibility in dynamics is always a possibility," Dr. Grey admits. "Dominance in a sexual role doesnt preclude someone from enjoying a submissive experience. Some power tops may adopt the submissive position with certain people, in certain situations, or within kink play. In BDSM the 'top' or 'dominant' are not synonymous, one can be a top from a submissive headspace or a bottom from a dominant one, and there are some people who undergo training on how to be an effective, supportive, and ethical top. Sometimes that means being the submissive to learn from their dom."Fact: Power tops enjoy exploring the power dynamicWhen done respectfully, power dynamics are a fun thing to explore, and power tops are all about it. When it comes to sex, they're really about the experience. That said, they're often on the hunt for someone who wants to totally submit. What's even more exciting is people who don't normally submit to anyone, but give up the control just for him (aka, power tops topping other power tops). Even though the power top is mostly about playing games, he still provides the necessary experience when the time is right."There is also a mutual benefit when prioritizing partner care," says Dr. Grey. "Which can increase satisfaction, deepen trust, and make sexual experiences more rewarding."Myth: Power tops like it quick and easyUnless you're pressed for time, who actually likes it quick and easy? Yes, your power top is likely horny all the time, and that can be hard to keep up with. But, as we mentioned above, he's also all about the experience, and if you're only going to be together once, he's likely to want to make the most of it and enjoy it for himself. If your power top finishes quickly, it's likely because your hole is either too good to handle or he's not actually into you and doesn't know how else to say it. "Several factors can influence the experience," Dr. Grey explains. "There isnt a universal rule or preference. Some tops enjoy prolonged sessions with a slow buildup, while others prefer shorter, high-intensity encounters. Fact: Power tops are known for lasting longerIt's really one of the things power tops are known for, honestly. They're like machines. They're always ready, they're always hard, they're always down. You can be in the subway, at the movie theater, waking up, or any variation in between. He can have a quickie in any of these places if he needs to, but he'd prefer arranging something where you two can spend some time together and he can really show you what he's made of. Even though it's a common practice, it's an equally good practice not to set this as an expectation."While some power tops have the stamina due to physical conditioning, or sexual experience, endurance is not guaranteed, especially if you've got that gorilla grip," says Dr. Grey. "Lasting longer depends on many different factors, such as arousal levels, physical fitness, stress, emotional state, and compatibility with the partner, not solely on being a power top alone."Myth: Only tall men can be power topsThis is kind of a struggle myth for tall men in general. Most people think tall men are automatically tops, whether in power form or normal. They think of power tops as big, muscly, rugged, and rough. Those kinds of power tops certainly exist -- but those same types of big, muscly, rugged, and rough guys can also equally enjoy being a power bottom. Shorter men are also known to pack some heat in the groin area, so if size matters, someone a little smaller might actually be better in the long run."The association of being tall and being a top is rooted in cultural stereotypes about masculinity, dominance, and physical size," says Dr. Grey. "You may be taller than someone, but that doesnt make you dominant. Being a skilled, confident, and communicative sexual partner is far more relevant than your body dimensions and size."Fact: Anyone can channel their power top energyIn the end, anyone out there can channel their inner power top energy, both in and out of the bedroom. Power tops know how to command the room, attract attention, and stay in control of every situation. They're smart and they know how to get what they want. "No" is not often a word they hear, and it's usually because of their confidence and not just refusing to hear it. if you're looking to demand some respect, just tap into your inner power top."You are not born with a gene that determines you are a power top," says Dr. Grey. "If you like to take control, have at it. It is also not restricted to any gender, sexual orientation, or body type; what matters is the approach and the engagement between partners, and the role of a top in practice."