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Banksying, pocketing, floodlighting: the LGBTQ+ relationship trends you need to know in 2025
Have dating and relationships always been this complicated? Social media and dating apps have definitely added new layers of complexity to modern dating, but there also seems to be an explosion of language to describe all the trends and behaviors singles and non-monogamous folks are experiencing while out in the wilds of finding partners.Feeling overwhelmed by all the discourse and not sure what all these new buzzwords taking over your timeline actually mean? No worriesweve got you covered. Here are the dating and relationship trends people are talking about in 2025 so far.Pebbling Youve probably heard its the little things that matter, and pebbling is a new way of essentially saying that. It gained traction online and is inspired by the Gentoo penguins sweet love language, where male penguins gift female penguins with small pebbles to build their nests in a unique courting ritual.Humans looking for love arent gifting each other rocks (unless maybe youre an LA lesbian giving a prospective partner some healing crystals), but they are sending small tokens of their affection throughout the day, like funny memes, a TikTok video that made you smile, or buying them their favorite snacks.It can be an incredibly sweet and low-key way to show someone you care unless, of course, you take it too far. Its also particularly popular with LGBTQ+ folks for a good reason.Learn more about pebbling.Banksying Pebbling may be sweet... but banksying? Not so much. This toxic trend is a clever name for a cruel way to end a relationship by slowly destroying it from the inside out.It gets its name from the infamous street artist Banksy, known for his mysterious art that pops up out of nowhere. But instead of a satirical piece of street art that self-destructs like one of Banksys paintings did its a selfish way to end a relationship to protect yourself by withdrawing emotionally and destroying the relationship from within, so that when the relationship ends, youre prepared and your partner is blindsided. Its essentially quiet quitting your relationship. And yes, the gays are definitely doing it.For more about Banksying.Pocketing Ever felt like the person youre dating is keeping you separate from their friends and family? Well, they may be pocketing you. Its a new dating term to describe when one partner avoids introducing the other to their friends, family, or co-workers. While anyone can pocket, queer folks may be particularly prone to doing it for various reasons some understandable, some less so. For more about pocketing. FloodlightingWeve all been on a date with someone who is a serial oversharer, but floodlighting takes that to the next level and is an unfortunately common toxic dating trend.In a nutshell, when someone floodlights you, they are disclosing deeply personal or emotionally intense information early in a relationship to artificially pull you in close faster its related to another toxic behavior, love bombing. But instead of overwhelming you with romantic feelings, its a form of manipulation through intense trauma bonding.For more about floodlighting.Heterofatalism Heterofatalism may have first been coined to describe how straight women feel about dating men, but sadly queer folks can relate, too. It was coined by sexuality scholar Asa Seresin, who originally called it heteropessimism to describe straight womens frustration with the way men behave when dating. Its that weary ugh, men energy, but laced with deeper grief, licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Klass tells PRIDE. Heterosexual women arent the only ones who date straight men, so there's a chance you are feeling it, too.For more about heterofatalism.Soft Swapping Ethical non-monogamy isnt foreign to many queer folks, but anyone who has engaged in it knows there is plenty of nuance. Soft swapping is one of those nuances.In an open relationship, both partners can date and have sex with people outside of the committed relationship, but with soft swapping, partners become intimate with people within a friend group or swinging community, and sexual contact is limited. This is different from hard swapping or full swapping, which refers to swinging where penetrative sexual activity is allowed. For more on soft swapping.LAT Relationships Love your partner to pieces, but wish sometimes they would just go home? Then a LAT relationship may be just what youre looking for.The term LAT relationships originated with a Dutch writer in the 1970s, but its gotten popularized recently because it has a lot of appeal, Dr. Ruth L. Schwartz, PhD, a queer relationship coach and Director of Conscious Girlfriend Academy, tells PRIDE. LAT stands for Living Apart Together, and refers to couples who are in a committed relationship but choose to live separately. In other words, you can be fully partnered rings, group chats, pet insurance, the whole nine but keep two sets of keys.For more on LAT relationships.Micro-Cheating Have you ever asked for someones number and saved it in your phone under a different name? Or do you find yourself flirting with friends and then feeling the need to delete it? Even if youve never followed through and gotten physical with the other person, what youre doing are some of the many ways one can micro-cheat.What is that? Its when a partner engages in intimate, non-physical and often online behaviors with people outside of their relationship that lead to a slow erosion of trust and psychological safety within their relationship, marriage and family therapist Layne Baker tells PRIDE, adding that the term is credited to Australian psychologist Melanie Schilling.While this dating behavior seems largely harmless, experts warn its actually detrimental to the relationship because it damages trust.For more on micro-cheating.
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