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Stem lesbians explained by an LGBTQ+ relationship and sex expert
We swear, every time we turn around, there is a new type of lesbian out there. From futches to Hey Mamas to the old standbys: butches and femmes, there is a type of sapphic for every taste, and no matter your personality in or out of the bedroom, there is probably a term you can identify with, including stem lesbians.No, were not talking about a Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math lesbians (although smarty pants queer ladies are out there). Stem lesbians are Black and Latinx sapphics who fall somewhere between studs and femmes.To explain what the term means, how its different from studs, and if gender plays a role, we talked to Sofie Roos, a bisexual licensed sexologist, relationship therapist, and author at relationship magazine Passionerad.What is a stem lesbian, and where did the term originate?Sexuality and gender expressions is not binary (despite what conservatives want you to believe) and stem lesbians are Black and Latinx sapphics who arent 100% butch or 100% femme.The term stud was coined in the 1960s for Black butches, but over time the word the words stud and femme morphed into the portmanteau stem to describe the gray area between masculine and feminine presenting queen women.How does it present?No two stem lesbians are alike, just like any other type of sapphic out there, but they tend to mix masculine and feminine clothing.According to Roos, one stem might sport a feminine pair of jeans shorts and mix it with a baggy masculine sweater, black nail polish, and little makeup, or they can combine a masculine cap, short hair and big boots with a dress and tie.While others might choose to wear a fully masculine look one day with baggy jeans, an oversized white t-shirt, messy hair and no make-up, and the next day get dressed in a cute skirt, a blouse, do their hair and wear feminine makeup.And someone else can have a feminine vibe and use make-up, but only wear men's clothing, or have a boyish attitude and wear a dress, she says.How is it different than a 'stud lesbian?A stud lesbian refers to a Black masculine-presenting woman, which is different than stem lesbians who fall somewhere in the middle of studs and femmes on the lesbian scale.While a stud is a Black masculine sapphic, a stem uses many feminine ways of expressing themselves too, Roos explains. So someone whos a stud isnt interested in embracing any feminine sides, while a stem mixes in a way where both sides take a big role in their identity!How is it different from other masc of center lesbians?According to Roos, other lesbians who more masc presenting like chapstick lesbians, soft butches, or Hey Mamas can be of any ethnicity, but the term stem is reserved for Black and Latinx sapphics only.Its basically the same as a chapstick lesbian someone whos in the middle land and who likes to mix between masculine and feminine expressions, she says.Who can be a stem lesbian? How does gender interact with this identity?Roos says that any queer woman who is Black or Latinx and feels they are in the grey area between a femme and a stud can be a stem, period.So one can say that youre too boyish' or too feminine to be a stem as long as you feel it fits well with who you are, she confirms.
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