All week the whole internet has been abuzz about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce getting engaged, but the celebration is tainted by another darker celebration underneath the surface one cheering on the death of "Gaylorism."Over the years, more and more fans have wondered whether Swift might be queer. There are endless blogs and social media accounts dedicated to queer interpretations of her lyrics, speculation about her relationships with certain gal pals, and communal discussion of potential queer flagging.As those numbers have grown, so have the number of people who are not just incredulous, but actively furious, at the idea that anyone might think this way, let alone dare to voice it out loud. And with the announcement of Swift's engagement, some of those anti-Gaylor fans (often dubbed Hetlors for their refusal to consider anything outside of a heteronormative lens) have declared any discussion on the matter over and done."GAYLORS ARE OFFICIALLY DEAD," one X account dramatically proclaimed. The comment has racked up over 37,000 likes, and it's hardly the only one of its ilk. Since Swift and Kelce announced their engagement, celebrations of the news have walked side-by-side with celebrations of a more sinister type ones mocking fans who found solace and community in queer readings of Swift's lyrics and who, in some instances, have now turned to their peers and friends to wonder whether they were wrong. Even publications have latched onto the opportunity to mine Gaylor reactions for content, focusing on the popular subreddit going private after other Swifties circulated screenshots in a derogatory fashion.It's not the first time this has happened. Hetlors have declared their counterparts dead time and time again, like when she's gotten into a new relationship or when she's dropped a song explicitly referencing a man. In addition to being wildly dismissive of the existence of bisexuality, there's something almost comically villainous about a cackling celebratory dance on the metaphorical grave of a whole group of people over the triumph of heteronormativity.Hetlors will line up with a thousand reasons as to why this is perfectly acceptable behavior, actually. They will claim speculating about celebrities' sexualities and their love lives is intrusive behavior (only when the speculation is queer, of course). They will disparage Gaylors for wild conspiracy theories and looking for hidden clues in her music and videos (nevermind that being a Taylor Swift fan has always revolved heavily around Easter eggs and secret messages)."We don't love & support Tay because of her sexuality. We love her music, personality & kindness," one anti-Gaylor account said earlier this month. Meanwhile, her sexuality becomes all-important when it gives Hetlors a chance to curb stomp fans who have the audacity to interpret anything she does through a queer lens.First of all, let's be clear on one thing Gaylors are doing just fine. Yes, it's true some weren't thrilled with the news. But combing through any Gaylor space over the last few days has mostly provided jokes and memes and "Bejeweled"-themed conspiracy theories. Because, again, this ultimately isn't new. For now, Gaylors are thriving. Because for the majority of them, it isn't about whether a singer marries a football player. It's about community, goofy theories (no matter how seriously they're taken), and finding things in Swift's music that resonate with their own experience. In other words, it's not that different from being any other kind of Swifty. (@) But for those who are experiencing a certain level of grief, well, there's plenty for queer Swift fans to mourn in this Travis Kelce-centric era. It wasn't that long ago that Swift was hanging out with and promoting queer artists, and declaring her intention to be more vocal about her politics and social justice. Those things have disappeared. Now, her world is made up of MAGA WAGs and public silence unless the family a friend of mine likes to call "the wannabe Kardashians of the midwest" have something that needs a little publicity boost.It's been a disappointing shift, and one a number of fans have struggled to reckon with. To continue having to do so while the rest of the world is having a celebration so big that it seems to eclipse the impact of everything else she's accomplished over the years could certainly add a layer of frustration. Not just because it's the antithesis of everything Swift herself has become, but also because of the broader context of what's been happening in queer pop music lately.Despite some people's insistence that Gaylors don't engage with "actual" queer music, the reality is that many, if not most, of them do. And the last few months have been an obnoxious whirlwind of events. As JoJo Siwa and Fletcher have announced their relationships with men, queer fans have had to watch endless streams of comments telling them how much happier and freer they both seem. Siwa insisted she was pressured into calling herself a lesbian and rebranded her tour into something notably less gay. Fletcher has been extremely measured and thoughtful with her fans, but anyone who expressed disappointment at possibly losing sapphic songs was branded biphobic by other fans. Then you've got Betty Who jumping into the fray to suggest Rene Rapp, a lesbian who has declared she will never date a man, could fall in love with a dude some day, which Who said was the best thing that ever happened to her, personally.It's just been a full mess of a summer. And one where sapphic fans have repeatedly been sent the same message hetero-presenting relationships are the pinnacle of achievement. They warrant celebration that sapphic relationships never could. It is only in the joining of man and woman that true happiness can be found.Obviously, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce getting engaged is not a slight against queer fans. But there's a culmination here. Swift has struggled with public validation her entire career. She didn't find it until her queer friends and brief foray into political outspokenness were replaced by a football player and the hope of a ring. Throw that into the mix of everything previously stated, the ongoing decline of queer representation in media, and the current administration threatening LGBTQ+ rights at every turn, and it's just been a really bleak landscape as of late.And that's why fans and publications gleefully mocking Gaylors and pronouncing them "dead" is so unequivocally fucked up. On the surface, it's just fandom drama. But underneath, the subtext is that queer fans should be put in their place, that queer readings of media are deserving of mockery, and that this is all, somehow, a battle to be acted out until heteronormativity triumphs in the end.People will balk at this conclusion, but you simply cannot divorce something happening within a singular fandom from the greater societal context, and the current context is that LGBTQ+ acceptance and visibility is on the precipice of regression, if not arguably already there. We can sit here and debate whether or not it's appropriate to speculate about celebrities' sexualities until Swift has dropped another 1300 vinyl variants, but that doesn't change the fact that this is about a much bigger picture than one singer's personal life."i became a gaylor because of taylor's homophobic fans," one person tweeted earlier this year, "and every time i want to distance myself from gaylorism i remember that gaylortwit is the safest place on the internet i've ever been."That some Swifties certainly no fewer than 37,000 of them seem to find joy in trampling a safe queer space just because people within it are debating whether songs might be about Dianna or Karlie rather than Joe or Matty is seriously dark.I've personally gone on at length about how damaging it is to actual queer people to insist that queerness must be loudly proclaimed in order to be seen as valid, so I won't do that again here, just like I won't spend as much time as I would like to harping on the double standards at play, as relevant as they are. But what I will do is point out that there's a difference between disagreeing with the way some people engage with fandom or celebrity and acting as if cheering on the destruction of a place within fandom where queerness is normalized is somehow morally commendable.If people want to pretend that all of this isn't rooted in homophobia, so be it. But for anyone on the fence, or wondering why they might feel uncomfortable with how this is playing out without fully grasping why, it's be worth remembering that there are always people watching. And right now, the narrative playing out is one that says queer community only deserves to exist on terms that heteronormative society is comfortable with. We've seen that film before and we didn't let it end that way for a reason.