ARLINGTON, VAIn an initiative they described as a vital part of their effort to cut federal spending, officials at the Department of Government Efficiency reported Wednesday that they had dug up Arlington National Cemetery.The American people gave the president a clear mandate to fight waste, fraud, and abuse by removing the freeloading corpses buried in these graves, said acting administrator Amy Gleason, who argued that DOGE was simply cracking down on an unpopular woke bureaucracy when its fleet of bulldozers and excavators leveled the 400,000 white tombstones that marked the final resting place of armed service members and their immediate families. Last week, we asked the U.S. Army to send us five things the bodies had accomplished recently, and we heard nothing back. So its possible this entire graveyard is a fraud against the American people. Some of these veterans have been dead for over 150 years. Theyre no longer even authorized to be on this land.At press time, a team of DOGE employees was seen continuing the effort to eliminate waste at the cemetery by loading the massive marble Tomb of the Unknown Soldier into a dump truck.The post DOGE Employees Dig Up Arlington National Cemetery appeared first on The Onion.