I grew up in a religious Christian household. I wasn't exposed to queerness, except maybe a scene from The Color Purple where Celie and Shug kissed and even then, my mom would skip that part, though I'd already seen it once on my own. That might've been my only exposure, and even that wasn't intentional.I remember being a curious kid, looking up "girls kissing girls" on YouTube for reasons I couldn't explain at the time. I even explored a bit myself, kissing a couple of girls while playing house, and I was always the boyfriend. Very telling.I had my first crush at the age of five; in 8th grade, I had my first girlfriend. Still, from then through junior year, I hid behind fake profiles to talk to girls online. I genuinely liked them and caught feelings for them. But I was still convinced I was straight. After high school, I considered that maybe I was bi. I wasn't ready to call myself a lesbian yet. I could accept "bi" easier because of my religious trauma and internalized homophobia.Eventually, I joined a lesbian iMessage group chat. That helped me get more comfortable with who I was. I started leaning into the lesbian label more. I also began learning about the LGBTQ+ community, which I had not even been aware of until my senior year. That's when a friend introduced me to the term gender fluid. It was after someone in a chat asked me if I was a boy or a girl, and I answered, "Both."A couple of years later, I learned about the term non-binary, and that hit, too. It resonated deeply, but I still didn't know if I should claim it. I went through a phase where I did claim it. I even put socks in my underwear to feel what having a bulge would be like. I wrote a whole explanation on my Instagram Close Friends story, breaking down my pronouns and why I identified as non-binary.But even then, labels never felt right. Now? I resonate with both non-binary and gender fluid, but I don't wear either one loudly. I use she/her/they/them pronouns. I don't correct people all the time. I let folks say what they say but know that I know who I am. And that's why queer feels like the best fit. It covers everything. It speaks to the full depth of me. I am all and nothing at the same time. Some people will get that. And some won't. But if you know, you know.I'm just me. A person. An energy. A soul. Androgynous. Non-binary. Gender fluid. Expansive. Complex. Constantly evolving.I've always loved when Prince said, "I'm not a woman. I am not a man. I am something that you'll never understand." I felt that in my soul. That's the essence of me. I don't want to explain it. I want to live it. Be it. Exist as it. You don't have to understand me. But you will respect me.I'd rather not attach myself to just one label. I resonate with the entire umbrella. I see myself in the L, the G, the T, the Q, and the +. Especially when it comes to my gender identity. They're all me. Every one of them holds a piece of me.My soul is expansive. Multi-dimensional. I wasn't meant to be boxed in. I'm everything and nothing at the same damn time.Kai (she/they) is a non-binary, gender-fluid writer and creative exploring identity beyond labels.Perspectives is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Pride.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Perspectives stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of PRIDE or our parent company, equalpride.