Originally a Catholic feast day for the patron saint of Ireland, St. Patricks Day has evolved into a global celebration of Irish heritage and culture. The Onion presents a historical timeline of the holiday.432 A.D.St. Patrick kicks all the snakes out of Ireland for failing to meet the three-drink minimum.521St. Brigid of Kildare invents the puke and rally.1721First known uttering of the phrase You think youre better than me?1845Millions of Irish immigrants come to America, where they were oppressed too, you know.1876Guy with a pinching fetish gets involved.1890Guinness begins bottling factory floor runoff to send to America.1963John F. Kennedy proves that the Irish arent all lucky.1970McDonalds debuts the original corned-beefflavored Shamrock Shake.1989Bagpipes decriminalized.1999Erin and Johnny break up and get back together four times in the same bar.2007The popular girls all wear matching green Abercrombie polos to school.2015Entire city of Boston arrested for public urination.The post History Of St. Patricks Day appeared first on The Onion.