QUANTICO, VAWincing as the bureaus director breathlessly staggered to his feet during their first training seminar with professional MMA athletes, a group of FBI agents reportedly watched in silence over the weekend as Kash Patel got his ass kicked by a UFC fighter. According to sources, the agents shifted uncomfortably on the sidelines of a makeshift octagon at the FBI Academy gym while reigning UFC lightweight champion Justin Gaethje pummeled Patel with a barrage of jabs, hooks, and leg kicks in a demonstration meant to improve the agents effectiveness in the field. Eyewitnesses confirmed that several agents exhaled sharply as the visibly woozy Patel was bowled over for a protracted ground-and-pound from the seasoned fighter, with Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound as Gaethjes elbow repeatedly struck him in the solar plexus. A hoarse Patel is said to have gasped, See how hes putting me in this triangle choke? to the impassive crowd before crossing his eyes and falling completely limp. At press time, several agents were seen exchanging glances of slight concern after the bruised, urine-soaked Kash Patel had not stirred from unconsciousness for three minutes.The post FBI Agents Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Gets Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter appeared first on The Onion.