INDIO, CAStressing that they had to act quickly before the situation further deteriorated, medical staff working the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival reportedly rushed overly lucid 23-year-old Zach Hillman into an emergency psychedelics tent Friday. Thank God for the good Samaritans who alerted us as soon as they noticed him standing up straight and watching the musicians performthis could have gotten ugly fast, said EMT Jordan Keeley, who ushered the excessively conscious Hillman through the beaded curtains of one of many hallucinogen aid centers strategically stationed across the festival grounds to administer patients urgent doses of psilocybin, acid, and DMT. Holy shit, hes making coherent small talk! Im gonna need 10 ccs of toad venom, statlets get his blood pressure way up. Quick! Before Moby goes on! At press time, Coachella medical staff were shouting, Fuck, were losing him! as Hillman stated that it was great to meet everyone, but it was time for him to go hydrate and reapply his sunscreen.The post Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent appeared first on The Onion.