Events are being propelled by one mans damaged psyche.

A person walks in front of an electronic stock board showing Japan's Nikkei index at a securities firm Thursday, Jan. 15, 2026, in Tokyo. (AP Photo/Eugene Hoshiko)2026-01-23T05:15:33Z European shares were mixed after Asian markets advanced Friday as calm was restored after a tumultuous week. U.S. futures turned lower, with the contracts for the S&P 500 and the Dow industrials down 0.1%.Germanys DAX was little changed at 24,852.07, while the CAC 40 in Paris lost 0.2% to 8,129.68. Britains FTSE 100 edged 0.1% higher. In Asian trading, Tokyos Nikkei 225 picked up 0.3% to 53,846.87 after the Bank of Japan kept its key interest rate unchanged, as expected. The central bank just raised the policy rate to 0.75% in December. Wrapping up its policy meeting, it also slightly upgraded its estimates for future inflation and economic growth. The Japanese yen rose against the U.S. dollar, which was trading at 158.15 yen, up from 158.42 yen. With underlying inflation price pressures remaining firm, we expect the Bank of Japan to resume its tightening cycle in the coming months, Abhijit Surya of Capital Economics said in a commentary. Chinese markets also saw moderate gains. The Hang Seng in Hong Kong added 0.5% to 26,749.51, while the Shanghai Composite index was up 0.3%, at 4,136.16. South Koreas Kospi climbed 0.8% to 4,990.07. The benchmark had topped 5,000 for the first time on Thursday but fell back later in the day. In Australia, the S&P/ASX 200 edged 0.1% higher to 8,860.10. Taiwans Taiex jumped 0.7% and the Sensex in India fell 0.9%. On Thursday, the S&P 500 climbed 0.5%, extending its rally after U.S. President Donald Trump called off tariffs on European countries that he said opposed his calls for U.S. control of Greenland. The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose 0.6% and the Nasdaq composite gained 0.9% to 23,436.02.Details were sparse about a deal on Greenland that Trump said he reached with the head of NATO, leaving investors wary of whats to come. Its not signed yet. It was the latest example of Trump making a big, initial threat, only to pull back after a dramatic reaction in financial markets. The pattern has led to the TACO acronym, suggesting that Trump Always Chickens Out if markets react strongly enough. Tuesdays drop for the U.S. stock market was the worst since October and large enough that Trump, who often takes credit when Wall Street is doing well, acknowledged the dip. JPMorgan Chase rose 0.5% after a lawsuit filed by Trump against the bank caused minor ripples for its stock. Trump accused JPMorgan Chase of closing his accounts for political reasons after he left office in 2021.Treasury yields held relatively steady, suggesting foreign investors werent rushing out of the U.S. bond market. Yields got some support from reports on the U.S. economys strength that came in better than expected. One said fewer U.S. workers applied for unemployment benefits last week than economists expected in a potential signal that the pace of layoffs remains low. A second suggested the U.S. economy grew at a faster rate during the summer than the government initially estimated.A third said that inflation in November was close to economists expectations, while spending by U.S. consumers was a touch better than expected. Global markets have calmed following an easing of long-term Japanese government bonds, which had spiked early in the week on worries that Japans Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi might make moves that would add heavily to the governments already big debt. The 40-year Japanese government bond yield slipped back after hitting a record of more than 4%. It was trading at 3.947% early Friday. In other dealings early Friday, the price of gold rose 0.1%, remaining close to the $5,000 level. Silver gained 1.6%. Prices of such precious metals often rise when investors are looking for something safer to own in times of uncertainty. U.S. benchmark crude oil added 69 cents to $60.05 per barrel, while Brent crude, the international standard, was up 71 cents at $64.77 per barrel.The euro slipped to $1.1741 from $1.1755. ELAINE KURTENBACH Based in Bangkok, Kurtenbach is the APs business editor for Asia, helping to improve and expand our coverage of regional economies, climate change and the transition toward carbon-free energy. She has been covering economic, social, environmental and political trends in China, Japan and Southeast Asia throughout her career. twitter mailto

Plus, your Friday news quiz.

Ukrainian and Russian negotiators have rarely met directly in the past, instead relying on Americans to mediate, and it was unclear how the talks would play out.

Witness testimony and videos from Tehrans largest cemetery show disrespectful treatment of the dead after a brutal government crackdown.

Leaked videos have prompted a scandal involving President Jos Jer and two Chinese men under investigation.

Managers of electric grids say freezing temperatures and ice and snow could lead to power outages in many places, potentially leaving millions in the dark.

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After protesters called for a pause on economic activity and work to strike against the federal immigration crackdown, many business owners wont open their doors on Friday.

While roughly half of voters support President Trumps handling of the border between the United States and Mexico, a sizable majority says that ICEs tactics have gone too far.

A crackdown on problems with fairness and safety is achieving results, including a big drop in the number of sick patients being passed over for transplants.

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These teams nailed their top targets or won a QB battle. Others had to reload at quite a few positions.

The president also said he was prone to bruising because of the high dose of aspirin he has taken daily for three decades.

In 1961, the author inscribed a book for the sister, a nurse who cared for him at the Mayo Clinic. Her copy of The Old Man and the Sea is being donated to the Nobel Museum.

Two of the Democrats rising stars, Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico, are seeing if a red state should be won courting disaffected Republicans or focusing on the partys base.

Nearly 15,000 health care workers in New York have been off the job since last week in a labor action affecting some of the citys major hospitals.

Plenty of New York City mayors have faced blowback over their handling of blizzards. In several appearances this week, Mayor Zohran Mamdani has sought to show he is prepared.

Nature, Published online: 23 January 2026; doi:10.1038/d41586-026-00233-4New director-general Mark Thomson discusses fundraising efforts and future priorities for Europes particle-physics laboratory.

The good (Nebraska), not-so-good (Kentucky) and interesting (dominant freshmen) of the 2025-26 season so far.

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House Democrats told the attorney general that more than a dozen whistle-blowers had come forward with reports of Ghislaine Maxwell receiving perks in prison.

President Trump said the United States was watching Iran and sending a naval force there, despite also saying this week that his threats had halted executions.

The presidents legal efforts against the Wall Street giant and Jamie Dimon, its chief executive, have put Corporate America on edge.

A storm is expected to bring hazardous driving conditions to much of the United States this weekend. Stay home if you can, but those who must travel should take it slow.

The trend of house burping, based on the German practice of lften or briefly opening windows to refresh indoor air, has taken off in the U.S., with proponents claiming the practice improves air quality. What do you think?Am I the only one milking my apartment?Jenna Ainsworth, Corn ShuckerBut that lets all the Febreze out.Deon McKenna, Shelf OrganizerNo need to complicate things. Just move to a fresh house every three days.Mark Laury, Aeronautic SociologistThe post House Burping Gains Popularity In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.

Chin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup dtat against the grooms 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.

DENVERAcknowledging the grim reality of their underwhelming romantic prospects, chronic disorganization, and lackluster employment outlook, the adult Patterson children confirmed Friday that the onus of giving their parents grandchildren had been placed on the least fucked-up sibling. At least Liz has a job and lives in her own apartment, said oldest sibling Matthew Patterson, adding that his younger sister was the only child without a criminal record or suffering from a crippling addiction to drugs or alcohol. Im pretty sure Liz even has health insurance. Tyler lives in a total fucking shithole with like eight roommates. Every surface is covered in empty beer bottles and overflowing ashtrays. Thats no place for a child, not even the total dud that Tyler would probably father. Honestly, Liz is the only one who would probably stick around to raise the kid. Plus, shes actually been in a relationship that lasted longer than a drunken one-night stand. She definitely has what it takes to become a shitty parent. At press time, Liz Patterson was reportedly borrowing money from her parents to pay for an abortion.The post Onus Of Giving Parents Grandchildren Placed On Least Fucked-Up Sibling appeared first on The Onion.

The post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.

Rapper A$AP Rocky has released Dont Be Dumb, his first album in eight years. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.Genre: Brand collaborationFamous Relatives: Rihannas kidsBiggest Career Risk: Nodding off during Smurfs premiereCitations From Massachusetts Department Of Fish And Game: ThreePersonal Style: Businessman who sprinted through a silk scarf storeFavorite Thing To Do On Phone: Press 1 to confirm Rihannas ob-gyn appointmentRecurring Nightmare: Looking down and realizing he showed up to the Met Gala completely nakedReview Of Sweden: Good food, weird locals, three starsThe post Artist Profile: A$AP Rocky appeared first on The Onion.

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The College Football Playoff will remain a 12-team field next season, sources told ESPN's Pete Thamel.

Former Eagles defensive lineman Kevin Johnson died from "blunt head trauma and stab wounds" at a homeless encampment, according to a Los Angeles medical examiner.

Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza, who won the Heisman Trophy and led the No. 1 Hoosiers to their first national championship this past season, is forgoing his final college season and entering the NFL draft, he announced on social media Friday.

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Three people from Indiana and two from Kentucky are in custody, officials said. The judge, Steven Meyer, and his wife were injured but are recovering.

President Trump said that NATO soldiers stayed a little off the front lines during the conflict. In Britain, which lost 457 soldiers in the war, the response was swift.

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LOS ANGELESSaying they wished she would just be honest with them, friends of multiplatinum recording artist Katy Perry expressed skepticism this week about her alleged powerful boyfriend who lives in Canada. Katy keeps going on and on about this new guy, but every time one of us asks when well get to meet him, she just says hes a really important person in Canada, said friend Emily Curry, who noted that she first became suspicious after she asked Perry to see a photo of her new beau andwas showna picture that looked suspiciously like it had been pulled from Googleimages. I called her last week, and she tried telling me the connection was bad because she and her boyfriend were out on a yacht. Sure, Katy. I dont know why she feels the need to lie. This is just like when she came back from vacation and told us she had been singing in outer space. Curry added that the alleged Canadian boyfriend was almost as far-fetched as Perrys so-called movie star ex, who supposedly lives in England.The post Katy Perrys Friends Skeptical Of Alleged Powerful Boyfriend Who Lives In Canada appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTONChecking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. Look, look, I think its starting to melt! said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his face against the door of the appliance to watch the gold medal slowly rotate as his younger brother begged for his turn to watch. Bye, bye Abraham Lincoln! Were going to turn you into slime, and then the Hotel Prize in Appliance [sic] will be ours. Wait, whats happening? At press time, sources reported the sobbing Trump boys were telling their father they had no idea how the Nobel Prize got into the fiery microwave.The post Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In Microwave appeared first on The Onion.

PARISClutching their chests in wonder at the newly unveiled work by an anonymous street artist, all 68 million members of the French populace were reportedly brought to tears Friday by a cartoon of a robot holding a flower. Technology has made us into zombies, and yet here is a robot showing us the truth, said 43-year-old Clmence Lefvre, echoing the sentiment of the entire French populace, whose economy ground to a halt as millions of police officers, nannies, mimes, pastry chefs, priests, and rebellious beatniks alike abruptly stopped their affairs to march down the Champs-lyses and raise their voices as one to thank the robot. This work is, how do you saytranscendent. It expresses an emotion beyond love and despair, for it is a reflection of love and despair itself. It is subversive like the art of Marcel Duchamp, and yet universal, speaking to all who suffer from ennui and an addiction to their phone. This is better than any work in that bourgeois temple of uninspired slop, the Louvre. Mon Dieu, what have we done to Mother Earth? At press time, an elderly farmer in a horse-drawn wagon was reported to have rolled up to the cartoon, wordlessly placed his hand on the robots heart, and collapsed into a peaceful death.The post Entire French Populace Moved To Tears By Cartoon Of Robot Holding Flower appeared first on The Onion.